


Undercover

by jhunieilarde



Category: Hannibal (TV), Sex Education (TV), The Fall (TV 2013)
Genre: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:41:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 43,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25254769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhunieilarde/pseuds/jhunieilarde
Summary: Stella Gibson just got back from Belfast after an exhausting run on Paul Spector's case when she got called in for a new assignment ordering her to go undercover to apprehend Dr. Lecter by posing as a colleague in the name of Bedelia Du Maurier. Despite her twin sister's, Jean Milburn, strong warning, Stella must learn how to play both sides if she wants to succeed on her mission and to stay alive.(this idea came to me after seeing a fanvid in Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QE71tHQJwps...so credit to the maker of this vid. This is a crazy one and i hope i can pull it off. Enjoy!)
Relationships: Bedelia Du Maurier/Hannibal Lecter, Stella Gibson/Hannibal Lecter, Stella Gibson/Jean Milburn
Comments: 20
Kudos: 65





	1. Sisters

**Author's Note:**

> It is possible for Stella and Jean to be twin sisters since they both live in U.K. and they both got blonde hair and all...warming up chapter for what's to come.
> 
> Let me know what you think!!!

Empty, dark, awfully quiet…those words can sum up her home when she got back in London. Well, to be completely honest, it’s always been the adjectives to use when describing her home. It has never been loud or bright. That’s what living alone does to a house. It takes away the light from it and filling it with huge amount of dullness. Stella does not mind. She’s used to living alone but this is one of the few times where she craves company. Handling the Spector case in Belfast took a huge toll on her and she also got beaten up by Paul Spector nonetheless inside the interrogation room. She still feels the sting in her torso and her face but the dreadful emptiness in her chest is more powerful than her injuries.

She opened her mail one by one which took like forever due to the accumulated volume from her absence. Her wine perished along with the mail on her table. It was late when she realized that painkillers and alcohol is not a good combination. Stella picked up her phone and dialed the number she knows by heart. Normally, she wouldn’t just call her like that but her head is being clouded by the alcohol she just consumed. It’s clear she is not thinking straight. After a few rings, someone picked up on the other end.

“Hello?” a woman greeted on other line.

Stella sighed upon hearing her voice.

“It’s me, Jeanie”, she muttered, almost sounding like a whisper.

“Stella? Is that you?” Jean asked. She sounded surprised to hear from her but her reaction is not a surprise for her sister. “Are you alright?” she followed up.

Intuitive, Stella mused. 

“I’m fine, Jeanie. Sorry to bother you this late. I just got back from Belfast”, she lied.

Of course, she’s not okay. It’s the main reason she called.

“Rough case?” Jean asked again.

“You can say that”, Stella answered.

There is a pause on the other end. Stella can hear her sister thinking with her rapid breath.

“How rough?” she asked once she recovered.

The cheerfulness in her voice is now gone. She shouldn’t have called, Stella thought. It was a mistake calling her.

“A serial killer targeting women. He stalked them, killed them, then posed them on the bed so he could take photographs of his victims…that kind of rough. You don’t need to worry though. He’s dead. He killed himself to avoid being sentenced to jail forever”, Stella answered leaving the fact that she walked away from the case with cuts and bruises.

Jean sighed deeply.

“Listen, Otis is on school trip tomorrow. I can come there and we can have a proper talk. Conversing through feels so impersonal to me. I want to see you. It’s been quite some time”, Jean proposed.

She cannot see her now, at least not right now. She’s all bruised up and if Jean sees her like this, she will get worried to death.

“Maybe next week. I am due to report to Met tomorrow. I was supposed to do a case review and I ended up leading the task force in catching the serial killer. That report is going to take long. I don’t want to be in bad shape when we talk. Let me get some rest and we go out for lunch next week”, Stella counter proposed.

“Alright, next week then. I’ll see you next week for lunch”, Jean finally agreed.

Stella breathed air of relief. For a moment, she thought Jean is going to insist on visiting but Stella was glad she did not. She cannot deal with questions at the moment. All she wanted is to hear her sister’s voice to ground her. Darkness has its way on creeping up on her and she does not want to lose herself in it. That’s what Jean is for. She’s the light that keeps her away from the darkness. Her pure heart pulls her back whenever she’s gone too far.

Life has taken them apart from each other. Jean is optimistic, pure joy. They wanted to help people but Jean wanted to do it with words and support. Stella decided to help people by catching bad guys. Their mother wasn’t thrilled at her decision. It’s not a female oriented industry but Stella was determined. She worked hard at school, got her straight A’s. Jean thrived socially. Everyone loves her playfulness and unpredictability. People tend to shy away from her due to her cold demeanor and poker face. They’re polar opposites of each other but she loves her sister. When Jean married that bastard, Stella could not fathom how she couldn’t see that he will only break her heart. She was right, of course. She knew that the relationship was doomed from the start. It may have something to do with her views on commitment but she saw his true colors before they even got married. Jean did not believe her and that caused their fallout.

They only resumed talking when Jean and Remi got divorced. Stella was finally able to meet young Otis but she kept her distance still. She was delving into pit of darkness and she’s afraid she would afflict that to her young and innocent nephew. Jean insisted for her to keep in touch so she does occasional phone calls to her. She sends greetings cards on special dates. She even sends gifts on their birthdays and Otis’. 

Stella crashed onto her bed. Her head is spinning either from alcohol or from the painkillers. She couldn’t care less. She wants to sleep. Her eyes darted to her windows and wondered for a bit about locking it. If she forgot to do that, would another Paul Spector come breaking in and attack her while she’s in slumber? How many men like him are running around exactly? The thought of dealing with someone another like him drained what’s left of her energy and she finally let her eyes shut.

The next day, she woke up with combined pain of hangover and muscle sores. The left side of her face is throbbing. She checked her clock and she still got time to get ready for work. Being idle at home is not for her. She will go mental if she isolates herself like that. She needs to keep herself busy, put herself to good use. Stella hit the shower and moved carefully and slowly avoiding torturing her body further. She’s in the middle of doing her hair when the doorbell rings. Stella is not expecting anyone but it could delivery of something she does not remember ordering. She went to the door and opened it.

“Good morni- Jesus! Stella, what on earth happened to you?” Jean exclaimed upon seeing her sister.

Stella completely forgot the bruise on her face. She’s yet to apply concealer to it and her sister’s visit is totally unwelcomed.

“I thought we agreed on lunch next week”, Stella said sounding cold and off guard.

Jean waved her hand, brushing off her remark and pushed herself inside her sister’s house.

“I had to agree with that last night to make you shut up. I knew you’re not fine when you called because you only call when you’re not fine, Stella”, Jean said as she strolled around her house.

Stella closed the door and followed her sister to the kitchen.

“Sometimes I forgot you’re a shrink”, she muttered.

Jean shot her a look which yells she’s deeply offended.

“Sex and relationship therapist…thank you very much”, Stella smirked a little. “…and don’t forget you took psychology class too”, she added.

Stella took a lot of classes back in the day in her hunt to find something that will suffice for her taste.

“I appreciate you coming over here but I am going to be late for work, Jeanie”, she said.

Jean’s expression changed to shock as she eyed her sister carefully. She is indeed dress for work although she noticed she arrived while she’s in the middle of putting her armor to hide the injuries she got from the world.

“You don’t seriously think you’re going to work now, do you? Stella, you’re the most workaholic person I know and believed me, I know plenty, but I am sure your superiors won’t mind you missing a day or two given your current situation”, Jean gestured on her face as she stated that last part.

It is true. Stella’s boss told her to take the time she needs but she’s not good at taking leaves. In fact, she barely uses her leaves. She’s always at work or on the field. 

“I’m fine, Jeanie”, Stella insisted.

“No, you’re not”, Jeanie disagreed and grabbed her sister’s arm and tugged her upstairs. “I need to check on your injuries”, she added.

Jean was surprised to see the full extent of her sister’s bruises on her torso. She really got beaten up good. She knew Stella will not tell her how it happened or any particular details about the case she worked on in Belfast so she did not bother asking. All she knew is that Stella got too close. It was not supposed to be her job. She was promoted to Detective Superintendent. She was supposed to review a case not lead a task force to hunt a serial killer. The thing is, her sister has a big heart no matter how hard she tries to hide it with her cold exterior. Stella hates seeing people get killed. It’s not a superhero complex. Stella believes in implementing justice.

“You’re quiet. That’s new”, Stella suddenly muttered, snapping Jean out of her thoughts.

“I got questions but I doubt you will answer them”, Jean said.

“Ask them”, Stella encouraged.

“Alright…that serial killer guy did this to you?” Jean asked and she nodded. “Were you chasing him somewhere yourself?” she followed up.

“No. We were inside an interrogation room. There were four of us inside, me, Spector, his lawyer, and Detective Sergeant Tom Anderson. We were about to take a break and Spector suddenly came after me and punched me. I landed on the floor while DS Anderson tried to subdue him but Spector managed to overpower him. It took a few seconds before the others got in the room and took him away”, Stella answered honestly.

Jean’s eyes widened. She’s in a freaking police building and she got attacked. That says something about that place, doesn’t it?

“What happened then?” she asked again.

“I asked my colleagues to take pictures of my injuries for evidence before I was brought to the hospital. My clothes were packed to be shipped to the station as well. When I got out, I returned to work and then Spector hanged himself to escape justice because he knew he wouldn’t be able to escape it”, Stella answered.

Jean put a bandage on the cut on the left side of Stella’s face to protect it from infection.

“I was supposed to tell you how incredibly stubborn you are for staying in Belfast and leading that task force but I know why you do it and the good it’s done for that man’s future victims but please, for the love of god…don’t put yourself in the front line like that ever again, Stella. You’re not immortal”, she expressed.

It was hard on them when they lost their father at such young age. Stella did not take it very well and Jean did all that she could to keep her happy and smiling. It did not help that their mother had been particularly hard on her because she closed off from the world. It gave Jean a purpose growing up. She made it her goal to cheer her sister up and be there for her no matter what. In a sense, that goal got her through their father’s death herself. Jean cannot imagine if something happens to her sister because of her recklessness when it comes to doing her job.

“I am a police officer, Jeanie. I don’t just sit in my office and wait for my paycheck”, Stella explained.

“I know that and I admire you for that but you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Promise me, you will take good care of yourself”, Jean said.

That is a tall order. She cannot promise such a thing when she lives her life like she’s about to die the next day. Jean is aware of her habits and lifestyle. She feels that she needs to learn to settle down some time but she understands her taste for string-less relationships with men…and women.

“I promise”, she said nonetheless and that’s when her phone rings. “Sorry, I got to take this”, she said to Jean and answered the call. “Gibson…yes, sir. No, sir. Today? Yes. I will be there in fifteen minutes”, she answered.

“You just made a promise, Stella!” Jean exclaimed.

Stella turned to her sister with an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, Jeanie, but I might need to break that promise as soon as right now. That’s my boss asking me to go to the office so we can discuss my new assignment and I need to go”, Stella replied.


	2. The Assignment

Eyes turned on Stella as she walks in The Met office. Though she did a thorough job on concealing her bruises, the unevenness of the color of her skin makes it stands out. That, and the publicity she got while working in Belfast did not help. She held her head up like always and walked confidently to her boss’ office where she’s expected.

Commander George Davies is browsing through his computer when Stella walked in his office. He was about to tell her to take a seat but stop before he can even say it when he saw her face. It made him get up his chair and went to her.

“Jesus, Stella! What on earth have they done to you over there?” he exclaimed.

“Nothing I can’t handle, sir. Important thing was, we got him though he had escaped his punishment but we still got him”, she answered stoicly.

Commander Davies raised an eyebrow.

“You were supposed to do a 28-day review”, he noted.

“The goal of reviewing the case is to help them solve the case. While on my review, I discovered that the killer was one man and I helped catching him. I think fulfilled my job in reviewing it”, she explained confidently.

Trust Stella Gibson to go overboard in solving a case. Commander Davies should have known better. He walked behind her and closed the door.

“Have a seat. We have so much to discuss”, he said.

Stella obliged and took a seat while waiting for her boss to occupy his seat. He opened a file and then handed it to her. 

“Dr. Hannibal Lecter…what about him?” she asked.

“A British national staying in Baltimore who decided to see Dr. Lecter for therapy. No one has ever seen him again. Mr. Vincent Hughes was declared to be missing and the police in the Baltimore are stuck with no leads other than his obvious connection with Dr. Lecter”, he answered.

“That does not make him a suspect. It is not completely odd for a therapist to be the last person to see a missing patient. There is the tendency for the patient to vent out to his doctor before doing something that’s premeditated”, Stella reasoned.

“Yes, but according the some of his business partners, Mr. Hughes had expressed his great dismay on Dr. Lecter’s treatment. He said that instead of getting better, he’s getting worse. It is possible that an altercation had taken place in Dr. Lecter’s office which could lead to number of things. A person just does not disappear and Dr. Lecter is hiding something by using the patient-confidentiality privilege to avoid giving a statement”, Davies said.

“No one had asked for a court order?” Stella asked.

“None…apparently, Dr. Lecter is a prominent psychiatrist in Baltimore. He is tied up with the FBI as forensic psychiatrist. He’s quite influential. Now, you see the delicacy of this assignment. The possible victim is one of our own. We cannot expect the American government to do something about it when one of their own might be involved. We protect our men in our backyard but what about those who are not here? Do we just let them go missing beyond our borders?” Davies answered then asked her back.

Stella took a glance at Dr. Lecter’s photo on file. She studied the way he looked at the camera, his style, the way his eyes focused on the lens.

“You want me to go undercover and get close to Dr. Lecter hoping to find out what happened to Mr. Hughes. Do we have clearance from American authorities?” she asked instead.

“We will take care of forming your cover identity. Given Dr. Lecter’s connection with the FBI, informing the American authorities will risk exposing your cover and risking your safety. I wanted to talk to you first before forming your cover identity so I can be sure you’re on board with this”, he answered.

It will be a pain in the ass going undercover knowing you can’t run to the FBI for help or additional information. If Dr. Lecter’s connection with the bureau is really strong, breaking him will be tough. Her brain started working rapidly as she stares at the profile on her hand. All she can see is a heavily guarded man looking proudly and confidently at the camera. Getting close won’t be easy and if he’s a suspect, she might end up on his target list.

“…a colleague”, Davies frowned. “I can’t just be anybody. He won’t break his walls for me if I am just a stranger. Make me his fellow psychiatrist. He is a man who values profession and status in life. He got manners and dislike rudeness. If I am to earn his trust, I have to fit the bill”, she proposed.

Davies did not ask how come she managed to get that assumption on Dr. Lecter. Stella’s mind works in mysterious ways and he learned to make peace with it long time ago. 

“A psychiatrist? I can talk with our people to provide you with proper credentials. We will erase your record on our database but it will be stored safely to avoid being discovered if he ever have you checked out. It will take a few days to remove your public exposure due to your recent involvement in Belfast but we can make that happen, remove all trace of Stella Gibson. The question is, can you play the part of a psychiatrist? You’re going to have to see patients to make it believable”, he asked.

“I took psychology course and my sister is a therapist. My background with anthropology is going to be a big help too. I will try to avoid making prescriptions as much as I can but I have enough knowledge in case it comes to that”, Stella answered confidently.

“You and your many degrees…” he muttered before taking a deep breath, “Better get yourself ready. I will begin working on your cover and after that, you will be sent immediately to Baltimore and when you got there, you’re no longer DSI Stella Gibson”, he added.

“Yes, sir”, she replied.

\--------------------------------

Back at her house, Jean is waiting patiently for her sister to come back. She feels utterly uncomfortable with this new assignment she got called for. She just got back for heaven’s sake! Why would they want her to go through another life-threatening assignment? Are they trying to kill her? Her questions remained an answer for a good two hours up until she heard the front door.

“Well? What is it?” she immediately asked her when Stella walks in the house.

Jean noticed her carrying huge loads of file to read at night. Those night readings used to give her sister nightmares about the killers she’s reading until she got used to it and it became so natural for her that she can look into a crime photo while eating dinner.

“I can’t tell you, Jeanie”, Stella muttered.

“Oh, don’t give me that, Stella. I have been waiting here for two hours and I need to know”, Jeanie exclaimed.

When she’s like that, Stella knows there’s no stopping her sister. She’s just going to bug her about it again and again until she lets her in. Besides, if she’s going to go undercover, she needs to let Jean know to keep her out of reach…for her safety.

“I am assigned to go undercover in United States. They are currently working on my cover identity which gives me time to prepare. Jeanie, they will erase my existence as Stella Gibson in order to protect my cover. I’m going to need you to stop trying to contact me for some time. It will be for your safety and for Otis’”, she explained.

Jean’s eyes widened and then narrowed. 

“Undercover in another country to catch who? Another serial killer? Seriously, Stella…when are you going to think about your own safety? Are there people going to watch your back there? Are you going alone? You just got back from Belfast covered in bruises. They couldn’t wait, I don’t know, a few weeks or months to let you heal?” Jean exclaimed.

Stella put down her bag and files and pulled her sister into an embrace to prevent her from having a nervous breakdown.

“We don’t know if he’s a serial killer, Jeanie. All we know is that one of our own has gone missing in another country and no one is doing anything in order to find him. He’s got kids and family here, Jeanie. I can’t just walk away. If it makes you feel better…I’m going in as a psychiatrist”, she whispered into her ears.

Jean pulled back after hearing the last part and looked into her sister’s eyes to see if she’s making fun of her. When she saw that she’s deadly serious about that, she bursts out laughing which made Stella laughed a bit.

“Oh, I can’t believe I am having a blast about the idea of you walking in to your death because you’re playing the part of a psychiatrist!” she couldn’t contain her laughter. “Oh…Mom will finally get her wish for your career!” she added and that made Stella laughed even more.

Once the laughter subsided, the tension had eased out between them. Jean is calmer than before.

“I am serious, Jeanie. We need to cut communication between us. I cannot risk anything bad happening to you or to Otis. You need to understand this”, Stella reiterated.

Jean, no matter how much she despise her sister’s job, can understand the need to help the others and this is her sister’s way of doing just that.

“I know. I get it. No calls or any forms of communications, whatsoever. Besides, I wouldn’t know whom to send it to considering you won’t be Stella anymore”, Jean said.

“That’s true”, Stella muttered.

An idea popped into Jean’s head.

“Any thoughts on how you’re playing the role of a psychiatrist, sis?” she asked.

Stella knows the concept. She has seen video lectures of it back in the university. She had sat into therapy couple of times too. Regarding her own approach, she has not contemplated on that yet.

“I’m still working on that but I’ll be fine”, she answered.

Jean scoffed.

“Right…you’re so open to other people and that makes them feel safe to spill out the beans”, she snapped which made Stella frowned. “Let’s be honest, Stella. You’re not the most welcoming person in the world and I don’t think patients will be comfortable to open up their feelings and thoughts to you”, she explained.

Stella wanted to retort that she can be welcoming if she wants to but she knows Jean has a point. She’s the happy one. Stella is not.

“What do you suggest I do then?” Stella asked.

“Well, I’m glad that you asked”, Stella smirked. “You need a mentor to teach you how to do it, how it works. Therapists got different styles in treating their patients. Lucky for you, I am available”, Jean answered.

That wouldn’t be such a bad idea if Jean is not her sister.

“You’re proposing that I sit during your sessions?” she asked.

“Yeah, that’s what I was saying. You can see it firsthand. You can have the peaceful ambiance of my house while you’re reviewing your case and you can spend your time with me and Otis before they ship you to America”, Jean answered like she got it all figured out.

Stella wouldn’t mind staying with her and Otis but she’s not confident to bring her work with her to their house. She feels like she’s tainting the place.

“Come on, Stella. We don’t know how much time you got before they send you to another country. Might as well spend it with us and I can help. I got friends there who will be willing to let you sit during their sessions so you can be familiarize with different techniques in treating patients. We all have different practices so exposing you to those is going to help you with your cover”, Jean further explained.

Her sister is smart, way too smart for her own good and Stella knows she’s ran out of arguments to counter that explanation. There is only one way the conversation will end.

“Alright…you win, Jeanie. I will stay with you and Otis and follow you around during your sessions”, Stella gave up.

Jean smiled from ear to ear and clapped her hands in excitement.

“Splendid! If I have known you going undercover will be the only way to get you to stay with us, I would have talked to your superior a long time ago to give you an assignment like this”, she said and they both laughed.


	3. At Milburn's

MILBURN’S RESIDENCE

Stella always likes Jean’s house. It’s big, quite remote, homey, and it got an amazing view. Plus, she likes her sister’s style in interior design.

“I called Otis last night so the bed for you is already made. Make yourself at home”, Jean announced as she struts around her house.

The last time Stella stayed with her, she’s still married to Remi and it made the stay quite awkward. She dislikes Remi so being with him under one roof was a nightmare for her. She likes the vibe of the house better. Jean certainly took more liberties in expressing herself and her profession through decorations and art displays in her home. Stella likes it very much. It feels very Jean.

“Aunt Stella!” Otis called.

She turned around to find a young man, taller than her in a casual jeans and colorful jacket. She frowned a little, trying to remember if he’s the young boy she had seen before.

“Otis? Well, you certainly had grown up. You’re so tall!” she exclaimed.

Jean laughed.

Otis went to his aunt and gave her a hug. The fact that she’s his mom’s twin makes it easier to be affectionate. She is basically his mother with longer hair and formal sense of style.

“How long will you be staying with us?” he asked once he pulled back.

“…a few days. I have to return to work after I finish my training under your mother’s case”, she answered.

Otis frowned and turned to his mother who is watching the two of them with happy eyes.

“Training?” he asked Jean.

She looked at Stella for a bit for permission to tell him a few things and Stella nodded.

“Well, your aunt is going to play the role of a psychiatrist for a job so she’s going to sit in sessions to learn how to do it”, Jean answered vaguely but Otis is a smart boy. He figured it out in an instant.

He turned back to Stella quite fast.

“You’re going undercover, aren’t you?” he asked.

Stella was caught off-guard by how fast he was able to come up with it but she was rather surprised. She always knew Otis is a smart boy. He is quite gifted and sensitive. Her bet is that he will also end up in the same field as his mother.

“I can neither confirm nor deny anything regards my work”, Stella winked and smiled at her nephew and Otis completely understood.

He has been briefed by Jean regarding the nature of his aunt’s job and he thought it’s cool for her to use her skills to catch bad guys. He respects the confidentiality of her work and he appreciates that she lets him in even just for a bit.

“Well, if you need any help at all, I got my bike. I can get things for you in town”, he offered.

“That is great, Otis. Thank you but you should be going to school now. It’s not proper to be late”, Stella said and Otis kissed her and Jean goodbye before leaving.

Stella wondered when she will be able to see him again after her assignment is over. She has no idea how long it will take her to crack Dr. Lecter, if there is anything to crack at all. Being at her sister’s house, she does not want to leave anymore, but her life and her job is at the city. It pains her to think that it might took a year or more before she will be there again. Her eyes turned and found Jean watching her curiously like she’s one of her patients.

“What?” she asked.

“You look lonely”, Jean answered.

Stella looked down and rolled up her sleeves. 

“I’m not your patient, Jeanie. Stop shrinking me”, she said.

Jean made a face and poured herself a drink before pouring one for her sister. She let her sister’s remark of her being a shrink no matter how much she hates being referred as such. How many times she’s going to tell people she’s a sex and relationship therapist?

“I am not shrinking you”, she handed her the drink. “It’s written all over your face. Random men not enough to keep you company these days?” she asked.

Stella hesitated at first before taking a sip at her wine. It’s too early for it but she’s not on duty so she might as well enjoy her time off.

“It’s not the problem. You know it has never been a problem. Let’s just say, it caused a bit of a talk back in Belfast”, Stella answered.

That peaked Jean’s curiosity.

“Do tell”, she encouraged her sister as she sat with her at the dining table.

“I got involved with another police. I thought I was there for a week, doing 28-day review. I did not expect that I will end up being SIO. That man was killed few days after we met. During the investigation, my name came up and it stirred quite a talk at the station but I don’t mind”, Stella explained.

Of course, she doesn’t. Jean knows her sister. She’s a proud woman who knows what she wants. She’s the same. That’s why she understands her sister’s way of life.

“Any thoughts of settling down? We’re not getting any younger” she asked.

“Let’s just say that I have not met anyone yet who I can see myself with”, Stella answered and that answer is enough for her sister. “What about you? Still bringing men in this house while your son is at home?” it’s her turn to ask.

“Otis is fine with it and no, that habit of mine had stopped recently”, Jean answered.

Stella can sense that there’s something bothering her sister that she’s not telling her.

“You found someone”, she guessed, her observation skills working like crazy.

“I did and I lost him”, Jean answered before her eyes fell down to her glass. “…and I am pregnant”, she added.

Stella shot her a look in a flash. Did she hear her right?

“I’m sorry?” she asked.

“No one knows yet except my doctor and you. I haven’t told Otis just yet because I don’t know what to do with it. Jakob made it clear that things will not work out between us so I don’t know what to do with this”, Jean answered while gesturing towards her stomach.

Stella felt a slight anger towards Jakob. He had left her and hurt her and now she’s carrying his child. If she can only grab her gun and march to his front door, but she knows Jean wouldn’t want that. She does not like seeing Jean like this. She’s the personification of joy. She’s not meant to cry or get hurt.

“I’m here and I will support you whatever your decision will be. I will support you”, she said to her which Jean appreciated.

\-----------------------------

Stella’s therapy workshop began the day after that. She sat through Jean’s sessions and her friends’ sessions. Jean was right about them having different techniques when it comes to treating their patients. Jean is more direct and a listener. The others tend to be more of a lecturer. Stella is learning a lot and she can already picture herself doing it as someone else. At night, she buries her head in files and documents being sent to her by her boss for further study. She enjoys bonding with Jean and Otis but she’s slowly conditioning herself into letting herself sinks into another identity without Jean and Otis.

Jean notices that. Stella became less and less involved with the conversations and she’s not joining them for movie night anymore. She had explained it to Otis so he won’t get confused. Luckily, he understands. She keeps her distance from Stella to allow her to set her mind in her job but she keeps a close eye on her, monitoring so she won’t lose completely herself to another person. Doubling is a dangerous thing to play with.

Stella finds herself shopping in town for tonight’s dinner. Davies already called her that morning telling her that her cover is ready, and she can fly the next day to Baltimore. She wants to make something special for her last dinner with her sister and nephew before she leaves. God knows how long it will take her to be someone else.

“Jean?” someone called.

She turned around and saw a man in plaid polo and a worn out jeans. His strong accent suggested his country of origin and Stella already knew who he is.

“No…I’m Jean’s sister. Stella Gibson”, she said and extended her hand to shake his.

“Twin sister, eh? Jakob…” he took her hand and awkwardly introduced himself.

“I know. She already told me about you”, she said coldly.

The venom in her words took him by surprise. It’s like looking at Jean’s kind face but hearing a different way of speaking. It’s confusing him.

“I’m going to be blunt since I won’t be here for long. My sister loves you. She has not told me that but I can see it in her eyes when she talks about you and I can also see that you had hurt her quite deeply. Normally, I shoot people who hurt her but it will cause more damage if I do that so I’m just going to tell you this. If you care about my sister, be a man and take responsibility. If you don’t, stay the fuck away from Jean or I won’t hesitate shooting you on sight”, Stella threatened him.

Jakob eyed her suspiciously, skeptical of her threat. Stella opened up her coat a bit to show him her gun in a holster attached to her waist.

“I care about your sister”, Jakob said while looking her straight in the eyes.

Stella can see why her sister fell for him. He got balls. He’s just not that equipped to deal with the kind of life Jean has.

“Then do something about it. You two got so much to talk about”, she said and carried the grocery bags. “Dinner’s at eight tonight. Don’t be late”, she added and left.

\--------------------------------

Inviting Jakob to dinner may backfire but Stella needs to make sure her sister will be fine before she leaves. Her assignment might take a few months and Jean is pregnant. If there is a chance that she does not need to go through it alone, Stella will take that.

Jean eyed her sister when she saw Jakob standing in her living room but Stella ignored her and kept working in the kitchen with Otis to let them talk. She trusts that Jean won’t butcher it as well as Jakob. Otis thanked her for making it happen. Apparently, her nephew had been dreading to get them back together. He told her how he had been an ass about it before and he felt bad. Stella did not mention about the pregnancy. That’s not for her to tell.

After dinner, Jean joined her at the kitchen to help with the dishes.

“Dinner went well”, Jean muttered and Stella nodded in agreement. “You threatened to shoot Jakob and showed him your gun”, she added.

“Well, it’s not really a threat. I will shoot him if he hurts you again”, Stella confirmed and Jean slapped her arm. “I trust you two are back together?” she asked.

Jean smiled.

“Yes, you can say that. I also told him about the pregnancy and surprisingly, he took it very well”, she answered. That gave Stella a sense of relief. Her plan worked after all. “Stella, you’re leaving, aren’t you?” she then asked.

Jean can always tell what she’s going to do next based on her actions. Stella is not the one to throw a nice dinner just like that and invite Jakob so she and he can fix their relationship.

“My flight is tomorrow. I need to know you’re going to be fine before I go”, Stella answered.

Jean wrapped her arms around her sister. “Oh Stella, I am going to miss you. Please take care of yourself no matter how hard it is for you”, she replied.


	4. Baltimore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stella is finally in Baltimore...thank you for the feedback!

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND

Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier…Stella must admit Davies did a good job establishing a sophisticated identity for her. Apparently, Dr. Du Maurier is a licensed psychiatrist who practiced mainly in London and has recently moved to Baltimore after her mother had died. She is of English-Italian-American descent so her conflicting accent won’t be an issue. She spent her childhood between three countries and she’s living alone.

Stella arrived at her new home and she can actually see herself living in it. It’s huge for one person but it’s perfect to serve as her office for seeing patients. She practiced her American accent while she’s unpacking. She totally changed her wardrobe for the job. If she’s going to live under Bedelia’s skin, she needs to feel it and she needs to wear clothes like her. For a moment, she got momentarily lost. All her things don’t belong to her, not to Stella Gibson at least. The I.D’s in her wallet are all under the name of Bedelia Du Maurier. She has no idea how Davies was able to pull it off but it’s like Stella Gibson does not exist. She’s a new person.

After taking a bath, Stella set off to do her job. She needs to establish contact with Dr. Lecter immediately if she wants to be done with her assignment right away. Davies got two patients already lined up for her to establish her as a psychiatrist in town. Stella searched for any events that will allow her to cross path with Dr. Lecter. She cannot just walk in his office without raising any suspicion.

Luckily, there is an upcoming conference for psychiatrist in Virginia and Dr. Lecter is one of the attendees. Stella registered right away. It’s her chance to make first contact. After that, she used a secured site Davies had created so she can contact him for any updates.

[Registered for a conference on Friday. Will attempt to make first contact. Wish me luck]

Later that night, Stella was able to have a long and good night sleep. 

\----------------------------------

The next day, Stella set out to see her first ever patient as Bedelia. Maggie Slates is a recently divorced woman struggling to get her life back together without her ex-husband. She had been married to him for almost twenty years and got used to life being with him. She became dependent. His absence had caused her to lose sleep and appetite. She got depressed.

“Do you have a husband, Dr. Du Maurier?” she asked.

“No, I do not”, Stella answered coolly.

Maggie smiled.

“I can’t help but feel envious of women like you who can be happy with themselves without demanding love and attention from any men”, Maggie stated nervously.

Stella smiled.

“Demanding love and attention from anyone is not a crime, Maggie. It’s as natural as breathing. Men demand that too with women or another man. There is no shame in getting what you want and need but it does not have to mean you have to run after someone you cannot give that to you”, Stella explained.

She hopes to make sense to Maggie. Despite being a psychiatrist a cover for her, she wants to help as much as she can. She is no Jean but she knows how to listen.

“We had been together for twenty years. If he had gone tired of me, who else can I expect to give me what I need?” Maggie asked in despair.

Stella smiled at that, her confidence is radiating off of her.

“Find someone else. There is plenty of fish in the sea, Maggie. If that is what you’re searching for, it can be easily done but if you’re after real happiness and satisfaction, it has to start with you first. You have to start seeing yourself as an individual and see your value before you begin looking for another person’s appreciation. You need to appreciate yourself first. If you can’t do that to yourself, you cannot expect others to do the same”, she answered.

Her following sessions had turned out great. Stella can actually see the appeal of the job. It’s no wonder Jean fell for it. It feels great to ease someone’s trouble by listening to them. Of course, it’s less thrilling than solving a case but the satisfaction level of being able to help someone is the same. Stella sat in front of her computer and opened a new message from Davies.

[Good move. Play it cool and take care of yourself, Stella. Good luck]

She scoffed and took a sip from her wine. After that, she took herself for a drive around town. She needs to replenish her stock in the kitchen to make it homier and at the same time, she needs to grasp the essence of the place where Dr. Lecter is residing.

When the morning comes, Stella prepared herself to go to the conference. She needs to make an impression. She already read tons of psychiatry books and articles so she’s aware of the possible topics of conversation in the conference. It will not sit well if she appears unknowledgeable in front of everyone especially in front of Dr. Lecter.

The venue holds a certain air to it. Stella fits in quite well. Her blonde locks fixed to perfection. She chose a formal yet subtle attire so she can just blend in and not stand out. She listened to the speaker while her eyes roamed around in search for her target but she saw no sign of Dr. Lecter anywhere which caused her to be a bit disappointed.

It was until lunch when she felt someone stood behind her while she’s holding a glass of wine. She immediately knew it’s him.

“I imagined you to be the type who likes to be surrounded with peers”, he said.

“Forming a conclusion before interaction can lead to disappointment”, she muttered without looking at him.

“You’re right”, he walked in front of her so they can look at each other. “Dr. Hannibal Lecter”, he introduced himself.

The pictures don’t do him justice, Stella thought. If it’s under different circumstances, she will approach the situation differently with the hope of him ending up on her bed. She quickly shook that out of her head. She’s not Stella at the moment. She’s Bedelia and she does not do what she does.

“Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier, it’s a pleasure to meet you”, she returned the gesture.

“Forgive me but I couldn’t help but notice you earlier during the lecture. You seemed rather bored during the talk”, he commented.

Was she that obvious? Of course, she’s uninterested with the talk. She’s searching for him. 

“I was paying attention if that’s what you were wondering. This is my first-time attending conference in America so I took my time observing people around me”, she explained.

He seemed interested in her all of a sudden.

“Where were you practicing before?” he asked.

“London. I practiced there for quite some time before my mother passed away and I had to come here for her funeral”, she answered the way she rehearsed it.

“I’m very sorry to hear that, Dr. Du Maurier. If you need to talk about it, feel free to see me anytime. My office is in Baltimore”, he offered.

A smirk slowly appeared on her face voluntarily. She’s got to admire his manners and cleverness. He’s trying to get her to sit on his couch.

“That won’t be necessary, Dr. Lecter, but I should mention the coincidence. I also practice now in Baltimore. I inherited my mother’s house”, she declined.

Stella cannot explain it but there is something in his gaze that’s like a gravity pulling her closer and closer. One thing she’s sure of is that there is more to him than just being a psychiatrist. She does not know what it is just yet.

“Well, that is a coincidence indeed. I look forward seeing you around then Dr. Du Maurier”, he said.

Stella raised her glass to that. “Likewise, Dr. Lecter”, she replied.

\---------------------------------

Later that day, she’s pretty sure that someone was following her from the conference to her home and she knows who it is. She is successful in making first contact with Dr. Lecter and it provided her with enough exchange to create her first profile on him.

He is very proper and formal. Manner comes naturally for him and she’s certain that he disapproves rudeness. He is put together and the wall around him is thick she can almost taste it. However, his eyes are expressive enough to guess what he’s mood is or what he’s thinking. Based on their first interaction, she saw that he’s very interested in her, not sexually or romantically. He’s intrigued about her, her background, her personality. She made sure to be as stoic and detached as much as possible throughout the day so he won’t get what he wants yet. She needs him to come after her. It will look extremely desperate on her part if she tries to approach her herself. She’s new in town. He needs to make the first move.

It took five minutes before the car that had followed her from Virginia left. The vehicle was not obvious or in plain sight. She just happened to be too observant being a detective and all. She’s finally able to let her guard down and took a shower to freshen up after three hours of drive. Once she’s done, she opened her computer and typed.

[First contact successful. Hoping for an immediate result]

This is the time where she expects Dr. Lecter to look her up, do background checks. If he’s that curious about her, he would want to know everything about her before he approaches her. He likes control, that much she can tell about him. She poses a challenge to him when he cannot read her and she intends to keep it that way.

\-----------------------------

After her third session finished the next day, Stella treated herself to a nice cup of coffee in town. Of course, it’s not entirely for pleasure. It is her putting herself out there for Dr. Lecter. She is baiting him without looking like it. She ordered her coffee and took a seat. Jean had recommended a nice book for her to read and she made sure to buy it before leaving London. Her sister was right about it and she finds herself enjoying the book.

“Dr. Du Maurier, pleasure seeing you here”, Dr. Lecter greeted.

She pulled her gaze from the book to look up at the man looking down on her. He is still in his expensive suit. She noted his great taste in style.

“Good afternoon, Dr. Lecter”, she greeted back.

“May I join you?” he asked.

Stella closed her book and eyed the chair and back to him in a composed, challenging and confident manner that made his eyes shone.

“You may”, she answered and he took the seat across from her.

Dr. Lecter called the waiter to order himself a cup of coffee. Stella kept her eyes on him, studying his every move. She does not avert her gaze when he looked back at her. She stood her ground. 

“I heard of your practice from another patient. A friend of hers is currently under your care. She got nothing but high praises”, he mentioned. He did look her up.

“Maggie Slates is a wonderful patient and she responds well to treatment. I am glad she feels good about our work”, she responded.

She can see how he’s contemplating his next move. He is being careful with how he’s talking to her. In his brain, he’s planning everything, every outcome, predicting how she will respond to things.

“Dr. Lecter, did you follow me here?” she asked bluntly catching him off guard.

“You’re very observant, Dr. Du Maurier”, he noted and smiled. “Would it upset you if I say that I did?” he asked.

She smiled back.

“I should but you’re the first person in this town who can carry a conversation the way I like so no, it does not upset me”, she answered.

Now, she got his attention. She wondered how to proceed next.


	5. The Power of Mere Suggestion

That was not the first meeting she had with Dr. Lecter, Hannibal, in that café. Since she had continued to refuse his invitation to his house, he settled with joining her at her afternoon coffee in the same café every single day. They talked about cases, political views, psychology, social issues, anything under the sun that strikes their fancy. Stella felt Hannibal is beginning to loosen up around her. He sees her as his equal intellectually and professionally so it’s easy for him to start up any type of conversation with her without worrying if it will intrigue her or not.

Stella finds him fascinating as well. She is curious about the way his mind works. Perhaps, she’s getting used to being a psychiatrist that she starts embodying it deeper than she thought but Hannibal thinks differently than others. He has all the tendency to be a killer and yet his demeanor and intellect say otherwise. It’s all confusing and he can sends various signals to throw off everyone.

“So, forensic psychiatry…that’s an interesting one to practice”, she mentioned during one of their coffee meetings.

“It is, I must say. Human brain is a complex machine. You will be surprise how complex it can be until a potential killer sat on your couch”, he said.

Of course, Stella knows about the complexity of a killer’s mind. She had sat across them multiple times although her role back then was not to treat them to be better human beings but to put them behind bars, lock them and throw away the keys. Nevertheless, she knows how their minds work. What she wants to know is how Hannibal’s brain works.

“Any particular interesting patient?” she asked, phishing for any information.

She could ask about Mr. Hughes right away but that’s too obvious. She has to be patient although she’s been in Baltimore for more than a month now and she knows very little about Hannibal’s involvement with Mr. Hughes.

“There was one. He’s not involved in any crime but he’s deeply troubled. He had dark fantasies in his mind and he is struggling to keep the dark impulses at bay. I tried to help him but I must have failed at some point because he’s been missing for three months now”, he answered.

That’s it, her brain announced. He is finally talking about Mr. Hughes. Could it be this easy? Is he only baiting her? Stella kept a stoic face.

“That sounds disappointing but you’re not responsible for his disappearance. We can only go as far as our profession will allow us. We try to help them. Beyond that point, all we can do is watch”, she said.

He smiled.

“You know how to keep your boundaries”, he noticed.

“It is the only thing that will allow us to fully treat our patients. If we begin to cross that boundary, the treatment might be counterproductive and that’s not good at all”, she explained.

Hannibal nodded and took a sip from his cup.

“I saw him the day he went missing. He seemed distraught. His fingers kept fidgeting. I knew something was off, something he was not telling me, something he’s nervous about but I did not push harder. I let him walk away and now, no one knew where he is”, he continued.

“It’s not your fault, Hannibal”, she muttered, trying to sound empathetic despite her suspicion. 

He is after all their prime suspect but he does not need to know that.

“I can’t help but feel that I am somehow”, he replied.

Is it guilt she’s seeing in his eyes? Psychopath killers have the ability to play a role of guilt and remorse to escape their predicament. Hannibal can be playing her, trying to get her sympathy, to lower her guard. She won’t let him win on that part.

“I think between the two of us, you’re the one needing therapy”, she said which earned her a big smile from him.

Hannibal laughed which is the first she saw of him. She couldn’t help but felt something fluttered in her stomach. Smile soothes him. It does look good on him.

“You may be right”, he agreed.

Stella hummed and took a sip of her coffee.

“I am always right”, she said confidently.

Hannibal stared at her for a few seconds before she decided to frown at him.

“Do I have something on my face, Hannibal?” she asked.

“I have another patient. He seems unhappy with my treatment and I hate to cause that feeling on him. It would mean a lot if you can takeover for me. See if you can help him”, he answered.

She raised an eyebrow and put down her cup.

“You’re referring a patient of yours to me? Does he know about it?” she asked him back.

“I suggested it on our last session. If you want I can send over to you his files and you can meet him by tomorrow”, he answered.

Is it a challenge on her skills as a psychiatrist? She must have convinced him by now that she’s capable of it. It could be an act of trust. He cannot seem to help his patient and he is trusting her to help him instead. It could be a good thing for her cover. Hannibal is beginning to open up to him. She cannot waste that trust she built from scratch.

“Sure. Send me the files and I will study it tonight”, she agreed.

“Perfect”, he replied.

\------------------------------

Neal Frank is the patient Hannibal wanted to refer to her care. According to his file, he has trouble sleeping and seeks Hannibal’s help thinking it’s psychological than physical since all his medical tests came back negative. Hannibal has prescribed all appropriate medications for his insomnia but Neal Frank seemed to be resistant to it or as to Hannibal’s notes, he might have been neglecting his meds on purpose.

[Dr. Lecter talked about Mr. Hughes for the first time. Though he did not outright express the identity of his patient, he mentioned that he was missing for three months which could only mean Mr. Hughes. He expressed his disappointment and guilt of not being able to help Mr. Hughes and he admitted to seeing him on the day he went missing. He stated that Mr. Hughes seemed distraught and that his fingers were fidgeting. He appeared to be nervous. I would hope to find out more but it is too early to accept his invitations to his house. Though I would say I am earning his trust. Dr. Lecter just referred to me a patient of his believing that I can help his patient. I accepted to keep the relationship I formed with Dr. Lecter. I will keep you posted of my progress in the days to come.]

Stella knows Davies has gone restless of her assignment as it’s taking so long. She explained that Hannibal is not an easy target to milk information from. Davies knows that and that’s her only saving grace from being scolded by her boss. She cannot go to the authority to get ahold of Hannibal’s files because no one knows she’s undercover for the London Met. She’s on her own in a foreign land and her only means of communication with The Met is the secured site Davies had made for her. If things come to worst, she can send message to him all she wants but he won’t be able to help her at all.

Stella reads Hannibal’s notes again and again on Neal Frank. His voice playing in her ears with every word and she sinks deeper and deeper to Hannibal’s state of mind while he was writing his observations on Neal Frank during his time with him. Hannibal noted Neal’s tendency to be violent when things did not go his way. He wrote how he can be a control freak and how much he wants to drive his own therapy in the path that he wishes. Hannibal cited an event during one of their session where Neal almost swallowed his own tongue due to his overwhelming anger and declined any help from him. Hannibal was forced to call 911 to get him help.

Later that night, Stella had dreamed of Neal Frank screaming at him while she tries her best to soothe him, to tell him to calm down and have a seat. He wouldn’t listen. She tried and tried but he pushed her back and he started hitting her again and again until she blacked out prompting her to bolt up out of the bed panting and gasping for air. It’s all a nightmare, she told herself. She would reach for a notebook to write it down but she had quit that habit after Paul Spector got ahold of it in Belfast and her diary ended up in the evidence room for everyone to pry and read.

Unconsciously, Stella finds herself reaching for her phone and dialing a familiar number. It was too late when she realized it’s a mistake.

“Milburn’s residence. Hello?” Jean answered.

Stella almost stopped breathing. She shouldn’t have called her. They already agreed to cut all communications for her sister’s and Otis’ safety. She is putting them in danger.

“Stella? Is that you?” Jean asked.

She abruptly ended the call and put her phone far from her reach. She is losing control. Her name is Bedelia Du Maurier. She kept telling herself that until it became easier to enunciate. She does not want to lose herself to Bedelia but it is what she needs in order to complete her task. She needs to move faster. Hannibal’s world is beginning to unravel on her. If she wants to find out what happened to Mr. Hughes, she needs to act fast.

\------------------------------

Hannibal might be right about Neal Frank. He resists and counters everything she has to say about his condition. He had asked her what she would have done for him and she answered the obvious ones and it also happened to be the kind of treatment Hannibal had given him, same medications. Neal freaked out. 

He exclaimed how he’d gotten worse when he started seeing Hannibal. All he had was mild insomnia, he said, but after he had sessions with Hannibal, he couldn’t sleep at all and it’s driving him mad. Stella can understand the effect of lack of sleep on a person. It can alter one’s way of thinking and it can cause violent behaviors. She tries to use old methods in treating Neal Frank. For the following three days, she tries to get to the bottom of his problems. They talked for hours and just when she thought she’s getting closer to solving Neal Frank, he started being agitated again.

“Of course, he would refer me to you! You’re just as twisted as he is!” Neal exclaimed.

She was taken aback by that statement. Is she really as twisted as Hannibal Lecter? If he has something to do with the disappearance of Mr. Hughes, if he had killed him, can she really be as twisted as someone like him? That took her some time before she can respond to that and by then, Neal had already gotten up his chair.

Her detective reflexes kicked in. It is not good when an unstable person started yelling and got on his feet. Stella stood and tried to talk him to calming down but Neal yelled and pushed her back to her couch. Men, she muttered. She hates being pushed around. The physical contact took her to the time Spector had punched her to the face and kicked him on her torso. She felt being powerless. 

“Calm down!” she raised her voice but Neal started choking when he tried to present his case.

Stella’s brain immediately shifted to doctor mode. She is trained in situation like this. She knows how to deal with it, to help him, to treat him. She got up once again and tried to help him but Neal shooed her hands away and he landed on her glass table while gasping for air. She should call for ambulance at this point but somehow, she’s determined to do it herself. Stella kneeled next to him and forced him to let her help.

“I’m trying to clear your airway!” she said and Neal seemed to have understood because he stopped struggling to fight her.

Stella sticked her hand in his mouth in an attempt to do just that but as she goes deeper, something just clicked. Paul Spector killed women and managed to escape his punishment by going out his way and she had been helpless to stop that because he had already beaten her up. She, too, had ended up as one of his victims. 

Neal Frank exhibited potential violent actions due to his display of extreme and uncontrollable surge of anger…she recalled one of Hannibal’s notes on him.

She is now holding a violent man’s life in her hands, literally, and in that brief moment, she considers all the things Hannibal wrote about him and the things he did mention to her during the coffee meetings. Stella breathed in deep and pushed her arm deeper down his throat, instead of clearing his airway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know in the series Neal did not physically attacked Bedelia but since my Bedelia is actually Stella, she wouldn't just stick her arm down his throat without any trigger so i altered it a bit just to give Stella a push into giving in to Hannibal's suggestions.


	6. The Attack

Silence…all she can hear is the deafening silence reverberating in her ears. For a moment, she is in total disorientation. Her eyes are fixated on the ceiling and she failed to recognize her surroundings at all. Where is she? It’s not her London apartment nor her sister’s house. No. She’s not in London. She’s in Bedelia’s house. Bedelia. Who is she again? Oh, that’s right, she mused. Bedelia is her. 

Slowly, Stella regained her focus and she managed to pull herself up from the floor. What on earth is she doing lying on the floor in the first place? That question was quickly answered when she saw the red liquid covering her entire right arm. She can only make sense of it as blood. Stella has been familiar to the smell of it over the years. Her white blouse is also splattered with blood that is not hers. It was not hers at all. She moved to her side to catch a glimpse of the man next to her and found Neal Frank dead on her floor with his eyes and mouth opened. The images of what has transpired before she spaced out came back to her in a flash. 

He was having a seizure. He was choking and she wanted to help him. She wanted to clear his airways and what she has done was the opposite of that. She had killed him. She shoved her arm down his throat and killed him. The weight of that fact dawned on her and she started hyperventilating. Stella has never experienced panic attack before but she’s clearly having one right now. 

What has she done? How can she let this happen? She’s already losing control but she thought she has more restraints left in her system to last in her assignment until the end. Doubling has never been a problem to her before. No matter how deep she dove into darkness, she always comes back to the light. Not this time, that’s for sure. She let Hannibal’s words get inside her brain and it resulted in a dead patient. No matter how much she tries to justify it, it was her arm who suffocated him, not Hannibal’s. It was her who killed him. What is she going to do? He did become violent towards her. He did push her down her couch and yelled at her but was that enough for him to die like that? No court will see her as innocent because she’s not.

“Bedelia”, Hannibal called.

She did not hear the front door. He does not have an appointment with her. She cannot remember making one. How did he get in? Her brain is too fried to search for answers when her eyes cannot even avert from her bloody arm.

“He attacked me”, those words came out of her mouth involuntarily.

It was one of the alibis she’s considering to save herself. She knows it may not work but she said it anyway. 

“Are you hurt?” he asked.

Is she? Her pride, her conscience, her soul, her integrity…those are incredibly wounded.

“No”, she answered.

“Is this your blood?” he asked again while walking around the crime scene.

“No”, she answered robotically.

He must have said something else after that but she did not hear them. She is nearing to blacking out.

“You were defending yourself?” he asked again.

It could be called as such but she went extremely overboard…way too overboard.

“I was reckless”, she simply said, an understatement of the year.

He kneeled next to Neal Frank. How can he be so calm at the sight of his body?

“This wasn’t reckless violence. It was a controlled use of force”, he stated while observing his body.

Stella’s detective mind tells her that as well.

“I know what happened”, she insisted.

“Do you?” she avoided his gaze.

It is just too final. If she dares look at him, what happened will become so official. 

“He was your patient before he was mine”, she explained but the rest did not follow.

…I don’t think you’ve written those notes during your time with him. I think you purposefully wrote those before you referred him to me as you know I would have read them. You told me those instances at the café about his violent behavior and tendency to act upon it to get inside my head. You use power of suggestion on me without me realizing it and I fell for it big time!

“He died under your care”, I bet you wanted just that to happen, she thought, “You were not defending yourself”, he added.

Stella couldn’t help it. She started panting and gasping. Her hands shook so fast they felt numbed. She felt hands grabbed her by her waist and lifted her up. Everything that has happened after that moment was a blur. The next thing she knew, she’s cleaning up in the bathroom, removing traces of evidence on her skin. Her bloody blouse has been disregarded. Hannibal came back from her room with a clean towel. She did not acknowledge him while he put it under the running water.

“I can help you tell the version of events you want to be told. I can help you…if you ask me to”, he offered.

Of course, he would. He could also be her only way out of this situation. His connection with the FBI will save her from the mess she’s in. She cannot lose her life over this. 

“Will you help me?” she found herself saying quicker than she would like.

He did not respond. He cleaned her up and let her get dressed.

\-----------------------------

Stella had already compartmentalized the whole thing. She picked up a nice dress and covered herself with a black coat. She fixed her hair the way she always does and reapplied her makeup. One look at her and no one would suspect she just had a nervous breakdown in her bathroom few minutes ago.

“Sit down”, Hannibal said when she got back to her living room.

Stella did while avoiding looking at Neal Frank’s body on the floor. They cannot move evidence. 

“What are we doing here, Hannibal?” she asked.

He noticed the way her walls are back up. Perhaps, he expected it to take longer before she returned to her stoic self but he was wrong and he’s very impressed.

“We’re here to get our stories straight. How do you want to present this?” he answered then asked her back.

Stella studied him carefully. Despite his willingness to help her, she feels that there is a hidden agenda behind his gesture.

“Tell me something first. The patient of yours that went missing. What really happened to him?” she asked instead.

This is where she’s going to end all of this. She needs to know now. One more day of this cat and mouse game and she will totally lose it if she hasn’t already.

“I don’t see how that’s relevant to the situation on hand”, he said.

“Neal Frank was your patient before he became mine. He told me all you ever did was to tell him to eat red meat and take the prescriptions…”

“It was all valid medications that I prescribed”, he interjected.

“…he became worse under your care not because he’s resisting the treatment. It’s because you were driving him down that path and then you referred him to me. You did not write those notes after your sessions with him. Those notes were recent. Those were for me. If we are to continue whatever this is, tell me what happened to your missing patient”, she continued.

The sternness in her voice triggered something in him. She saw the shift. It’s like another human being is now sitting in front of her. The confidence in his body multiplied. There is a primal essence to him and she couldn’t help but feel…attracted?

“Vincent Hughes…he’s dead”, he simply said.

“Dead like Neal Frank is dead?” she asked without blinking an eye.

“No, not like Neal Frank. Let’s just say, he served a much greater purpose. He was thoroughly enjoyed”, he answered.

Thoroughly enjoyed…that’s not metaphorically said. She cannot decipher the meaning of that. The thing is, he confirmed that he is dead. Is she talking to the same Hannibal Lecter she met at that conference? He had dropped the need for his walls and exposed himself to her completely.

“Now, Bedelia, how do you want to present this? The police are going to be here any moment. I already called them”, he asked going back to business.

Still stunned, Stella cleared her throat and composed her story.

“He was behaving violently, and he suddenly attacked me but during the attack, he had a seizure and he swallowed his own tongue”, she answered like reciting a verse.

Hannibal smirked.

“Great story. I happened to drop by to consult with you when I heard the table breaking. I rushed in and found Mr. Frank on the floor and you in a vulnerable state”, he added.

It is a great story. Stella nodded in agreement and when the police arrived, it’s exactly what they both told the authorities about what happened with Neal Frank.

\-------------------------------

Hannibal had shielded her as much as he can. After she gave her statement to the police, he took over. She played the part of being distraught, attacked doctor. The police bought it whole and after all that was done, Hannibal drove her to the hotel. Her house, Bedelia’s house, had became a crime scene for a moment and she cannot stay there.

“Do you want me to carry your luggage for you?” he asked.

“No, thank you. Goodbye Hannibal”, she answered and got out of the car.

She made sure that he had drove away before she went inside the hotel. Stella kept a hold of herself until she got inside her room. When the door shuts, she finally allowed herself to break. She had just killed a man. She just killed someone innocent. That is not something she can just erased. Tears fell freely from her eyes down to her cheeks. There’s no one around anymore to see her like this. Hannibal is not around anymore. She can finally let her guard down and be Stella.

She stared at her computer debating on what to tell his boss about what happened. She needs to report it. How is she going to proceed? For sure, Davies will get a hold of the police report of the incident and he will know what happened. She needs to report before he finds out.

[An incident had happened today at the house. A patient referred to me by Dr. Lecter had attacked me during our session and whilst in the middle of the attack, he had a seizure and swallowed his own tongue. He is dead. Dr. Lecter arrived after it happened and saw the scene. He had given his statement to what he knew about the patient and the attack…]

He had said that Mr. Hughes is dead. He had said that he was thoroughly enjoyed. Stella’s brain is leaning towards the obvious. It is in his words. He had let her in on purpose to see how she will proceed. It’s no metaphor. It’s as literal as it can be.

[…Dr. Lecter confirmed to me that Mr. Hughes is already dead. He did not give any details as to how it happened or to when or where. He had mentioned something that stood out which I am still working on making sense of its meaning. As I wrote this update, I am currently staying in a hotel as the house became a crime scene. Sir, I do not intend to get back at the said house. I already booked my flight back to London in the morning not as Bedelia Du Maurier but as Stella Gibson. I believed I had achieved the task I was given by confirming what had happened to Mr. Hughes. I will see you straight after I land]

This is where it’s supposed to end, she thought. She got what she needed. She knows that Mr. Hughes is dead. Her job is done. It is time for Bedelia Du Maurier to retire and for Stella Gibson to get her life back. She must go to London to save herself from drowning in darkness. She must flee Baltimore and be as far away from Hannibal as possible or she can never get herself back again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we all know that Bedelia had retired after her attack so this is how i navigate that one. I had rehashed the lines a bit but it is such a good dialogue between Bedelia and Hannibal so it would be a shame not to use it.
> 
> Thanks again for the wonderful responses! More to come, i promised.


	7. It's Not Over

LONDON

Stella went straight to The Met after her plane landed. A few shots under her belt in the flight helped her to push herself to go to Davies’ office. She ignored all the eyes turned on her as she walked past. It’s not uncommon for her to be the center of attention at the office but she has no idea what Davies had told them about her assignment. She’s been gone in months. 

Commander Davies opened the door for her and closed it afterwards. Stella put down her bags on the floor and removed her coat.

“Tell me everything”, he said.

…and so she did. She told him every details from the moment she met Hannibal at the conference, to the meetings at the café, up until the referral of Neal Frank to her which lead to his death. The thing is she did leave the part where she had shoved her arm down his throat. It is something to be kept to herself. 

“Did he admit to killing Mr. Hughes?” Davies asked.

“No, sir. He did confirm it which is something he has not told the police. It would mean that he lied in his statement, enough to issue a warrant for his arrest”, she answered.

It is not enough. She can already feel Davies thinking it. It is written all over his face.

“Dr. Lecter has contacts in the authorities, Stella. We can’t just have him arrested. We need proof or at least recording of him confirming his patient’s death. Do you have any of that?” he asked.

“No, sir. I do not”, she answered honestly.

How come she has not thought of that? She could have worn a wire while talking to him in that living room. She was too shocked to even think of how she was going to navigate her way out of the situation. She now looked like a newbie who forgot to obtain evidence first.

“Stella, I know this is a tough assignment. Being somebody else in another country by yourself while hunting a killer can be overwhelming. It was tough that you got attacked by a patient but we have the responsibility to our people and Mr. Hughes was one of the them. We owe it to him to give him justice”, he said.

She knows that. It’s the reason why she accepted the assignment in the first place. She wants to help give him justice. She’s just unsure now how she can do that after what happened.

“Look, if I know anyone else who can pull this off better, I would have given the assignment to that person but there’s no one else better than you, Stella. Even our bosses agreed with my choice given your previous records. You made contact with Dr. Lecter in less than a week after you arrived in Baltimore and you got him to open up to you without raising suspicions. Plus, you did well with your patients”, except for the last one, Stella thought to herself. “I need you to do this, Stella. I believe you when you say he confirmed Mr. Hughes’ death. What we need now is evidence of that. We need to nail him if he’s the one responsible. We get enough to put him behind bars, your undercover job will be over”, he added.

She frowned at his words. She just told him what happened. She phrased it that she was attacked and someone died in front of her in a place where she’s alone, couldn’t ask for backup or police help, and he wants her to continue?

“Are you asking me to go back to Baltimore, sir?” she asked.

Davies took a deep breath before meeting her cold blue eyes.

“I’m not asking, Stella”, he answered.

\---------------------------------

MILBURN’S RESIDENCE.

Jean has just finished one of her sessions when someone rang the doorbell. She frowned and looked at her watch before walking to answer the door.

“Oh…Stella? When did you get back?! Sorry, come in. I thought you’re a patient. Come in”, she exclaimed upon seeing her sister.

Stella went in with her bags and dropped them at the living room. Her next move is to get anything strong in her sister’s kitchen to numb her nerves. Jean observed her sister in silence. She knew something is wrong. Stella would have called that she’s coming back. She would have told her that she’s fine and would have scheduled a lunch for them to meet, not dropped in unannounced on her porch with her bags and invade her kitchen for booze. Yeah…something is definitely wrong.

Finally, Stella managed to find Jean’s vodka. She did not bother with glass. She drank it straight from the bottle which sets Jean’s alarms off.

“Stella? Talk to me. What happened and don’t tell me you can’t tell me anything”, Jean asked.

Stella took her time before turning to her sister. The guilt in her system won’t even allow her to hold her gaze with her. She felt unworthy to be around her sister who has a heart of gold. How do you tell someone you’ve done a terrible thing?

“Someone died, Jeanie, and it’s my fault. I lost control. I thought I was in control but I lost it. I lost it and now someone is dead”, she answered.

Freaking doubling, Jean thought. She knew what her sister was doing is dangerous. She had seen her dabbled with a little bit of darkness during her stay with her and it worried her but she did not say a word. Stella admitting that she lost control is more than worrisome. It’s a warning.

“I’m so sorry to hear that”, Jean pulled her sister to her arms which she did not resist. “At least, you’re here now. You’re safe”, she whispered.

That’s when Stella pulled back. Her eyes are darker than usual. Her face is stone cold. Jean frowned.

“They want me to go back”, Stella said.

“What?” Jean asked.

“It appears that I have not completed my assignment. I made progress but our guy is still on the loose and we don’t have anything on him to put him in jail unless I go back to find something that will incriminate him”, Stella explained.

She understands why Davies needs her to go back to Baltimore. If she’s in his shoes, she will order the same. The only difference is that Davies does not know what really happened with Neal Frank and why Stella wanted to get away from Hannibal. 

“Tell them to get someone else to do it! Jesus, Stella! You said it yourself. Someone has died. You are now here in my kitchen devouring my vodka without a glass and you’re telling me you’re going back there? No!” Jean exclaimed.

Stella did not expect her sister’s outburst to be that extreme. She expected she will be opposed to it but not like that.

“Jeanie, it’s not up to me”, she simply said.

Jean grabbed the bottle of vodka and took a gulp herself.

“I can now see why Mom hates your job”, she muttered.

“I know. Sometimes I hate my job too”, Stella admitted.

The thought of going back to Baltimore is like an impending nightmare for her. She’s tasked with nailing Hannibal. How will she do that? If she managed to get enough evidence to put him in prison, she will have to reveal herself to him as Stella. What if Hannibal decided to tell everyone that she killed Neal Frank? She will not only put Hannibal in prison. She will also be putting herself in jail.

It’s all Hannibal’s game, she realized. It was a test. He offered her his help and therefore, lied to the police about what happened. She owes him now. He has the power over her. If she betrays him, she will go down with him. He constructed a trap for her and she fell for it with a freaking blindfold around her eyes. How can she be so blind when it comes to him? It is no secret danger attracts her. Hannibal is dangerous, she figured that part out. He has that gravity that pulls her to him but she can’t let herself be burned to the flames for it, so she went back to London…and now, they’re shipping her back.

“Will you stay for the night at least?” Jean asked once her temper subsided.

Stella turned to her.

“I got three days and I intended to spend that with you and Otis”, she answered.

\--------------------------------

Stella stayed with Jean and her son for three days. She told her about her therapy in Baltimore. Jean was impressed by how Stella was able to adapt to the job and told her it is not too late for her to quit the Met and pursue a career in psychology or psychiatry. Otis was more than happy to have his aunt back. He thinks her job is over. None of the blonde twins explained that Stella is bound to go back but Jakob already knew that. He can see it in Stella’s eyes like she’s keeping a photograph of Jean and Otis in her mind. She’s framing them as if she will never see them again.

“When are you going back?” Jakob asked when he found Stella drinking at the balcony.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Stella asked him back.

Jakob chuckled, remembering the way Jean’s twin sister threatened to shoot him with her gun at the grocery store.

“No. Jean wouldn’t want to say it but I know you’re not here to stay. You look at them like this is the last time you will see and talk to them. You’re leaving”, he answered.

In another world and time, she can see him becoming a detective himself. He is too observant. It is a good skill.

“You’re right. My flight is tomorrow. I have some unfinished job I need to get done before I can stay longer”, she answered vaguely.

Jakob hummed and looked at the dark view.

“Jean has been having nightmares few days ago before you arrived. I asked her about it but she never told me. Yesterday, I discovered a piece of paper she threw in the trash while I was cleaning up. I thought it was the electric bill I kept looking for and then I saw your name on it. She was having nightmares about you. She’s worried and it’s not good for her and the baby”, he informed her.

She understands. Jean is carrying a child and her pregnancy is high risk considering her age. She is causing her stress which is not good for her health. Jean has not told her about the nightmares but that bothered Stella. She does not want to cause her sister that. She came to her house because there’s no one else to go to. The con of the life she chose to live. She tried so hard not to form any relationships that she ended up having none to turn to in times of need.

“Will you look after her when I’m gone?” she asked and it made him frown. “She made me promise to take care of myself but I am not sure I can keep it. Honestly, I am not sure what will happen when I get back there so I want to be certain that you will be there for her”, she added.

Jakob wanted to ask her to elaborate that explanation but he chose not to. He knows she will not tell him anything in relation to her work. Jean told him that.

“I will. I promise. I will not let anything bad happen to her, to Otis, and to our baby”, he answered.

“Thank you”, she replied.

\----------------------------------

Later that night, Stella got woken up by another nightmare of Neal suffocating with her arm down his throat. She’s been having the same nightmare since she got back to London and by now, she’s getting used to it but it does not stop her nightmare from waking her up each time. Stella took a sip from her glass of water and got startled when her phone rings. It took her time before she picked it up. It was not her phone ringing. It was the phone she was using as Bedelia.

“Hello”, she answered quietly.

The caller I.D. informed her of the caller’s identity but deep down, she already knew that before picking up.

“Bedelia, sorry to bother you. I was just calling to check in on you. Your house is ready to be occupied again and the hotel informed me you already checked out”, Hannibal said.

She closed her eyes. Even his voice holds enough power to make her heart beats fast.

“I am out of town, Hannibal. I decided to take some time for myself but I am due to return tomorrow”, she said.

“Well, it’s settled then. Please message me your flight details and I will pick you up at the airport”, he said.

She silently kicked herself for it. When the morning comes, she will see Hannibal Lecter again.


	8. First Session

Hannibal is standing by the door holding a piece of paper with Bedelia Du Maurier’s name written on it. To anyone, it looks so endearing, cute, and thoughtful, but to Stella, it made her feel like she’s about to faint. She has gotten used to the nightmares involving Hannibal and Neal Frank but she knows those cannot harm her. They’re just in her dreams and when she wakes up, they’ll be gone. This time is different. She’s back in his territory. There is no guarantee that when she wakes up, he’ll be gone. He will always be there. She’s grateful that she had the presence of mind to book the flight under Bedelia’s name and not hers or otherwise, he would have known her true identity.

“Hannibal”, she greeted with the same icy cool in her voice.

“Dr. Du Maurier”, he greeted back.

\---------------------------

“You may drop the title, Hannibal. I have decided to retire from practice. I go as just Bedelia nowadays”, she said while they’re on the road to Bedelia’s house.

Hannibal looked at her briefly before returning his eyes on the road.

“You’re never ‘just Bedelia’”, he muttered and it made her stomach fluttered.

What is going on? The man is a psychopath at best. Why is she feeling this way next to the man who may have killed Mr. Hughes and manipulated her brain into killing Neal Frank?

“Are you retiring because of what happened with Neal Frank?” he asked.

She wished he wouldn’t bring that subject but it’s impossible. For him, it’s an aphrodisiac. He may love the look of confusion and lost in her face that day.

“Yes”, she answered honestly.

She left out the part that she intended to retire entirely from her assignment and just be as far away from him as possible.

“May I ask why?” he asked.

Stella kept her eyes on the road as well.

“I don’t think I can continue treating other patients knowing they’re sitting on the same spot Neal Frank had occupied. It will be unfair for them not to get the treatment they deserved”, she answered.

It all came out stoically as she intended but somehow, emotions slipped past her guard and mixed with her tone that it made the words she uttered sounded melancholic. It is the first Hannibal had heard her talk like that. He had seen her on the brink of a breakdown but that’s just after the incident. Her walls were completely down. At that very moment, her walls are all back up and yet she failed to hold back that strand of emotion that escaped her guard.

“That would be a shame”, he muttered.

Stella turned to him and found him looking back at her.

“It will be for the best, Hannibal”, she explained.

“I was hoping I can convince you to make an exception for just one patient”, he said.

Not another one, she thought. 

“Please don’t tell me you’re referring another patient to my care, Hannibal. I think that ship had already sailed and sunk”, she said.

Hannibal smiled, a genuine smile, not a smirk.

“No. I am not referring another patient. I will be your patient”, he replied.

\----------------------------

The living room has been redone. She got new sets of furniture and decorations and it looks like she’s seeing the room for the first time. Hannibal done a good job renovating the room so she won’t have a hard time looking at it for her sessions. 

Hannibal’s revelation of wanting to seek therapy from her has left her stunned until they arrived home. Her entire being says to decline it but she’s curious. She’s always been curious about him ever since they’ve met. It’s too late for her to back out because she had already said yes. It is a bad idea but jobwise, it could be a good thing. She can study him, get him to talk. She can record their sessions and if he happens to slip, her job is done. She can finally go home to London and be Stella Gibson again.

[Dr. Lecter had asked me to be his psychiatrist. I accepted in the hope of having him admit to possibly killing Mr. Hughes. I hope to provide enough evidence for justice to be served. I’ll send updates as soon as I have something]

The session began a week after her return in Baltimore. Hannibal was gracious enough to let her settle before making an appointment. Stella treated herself to grocery runs, shopping, coffee every afternoon…building Bedelia’s world by establishing material things only Bedelia will have. Stella wouldn’t normally invest in such expensive items but she did earn money for treating her patients before as Bedelia and it all went to Bedelia’s account. On top of that, she is receiving her paycheck from The Met in Bedelia’s account to sustain her living in Baltimore. In other words, she’s loaded with money and she’s got nothing to spend it with so she decided to spoil herself.

She discovered that she has a whole new side of her who indulges in lavish things. Fashion has a special place in her heart but she always sided with practicality, making sure she will not go over the limit. Bedelia is not that. Bedelia is luxurious. Bedelia is not practical. 

It only takes her a week to build Bedelia Du Maurier in her and when she catches herself in front of the mirror, she can hardly see Stella Gibson. The hair is the same but the rest feels different. It helps being someone else. Stella is having a hard time dealing with the guilt of what she’s done. Hiding behind Bedelia’s persona allows her to face Hannibal without blinking an eye or wanting to take her gun and shoot him on the face. The only problem with Bedelia is that the attraction is there. On top of the curiosity building in her about his mind, the sense of danger radiating off Hannibal, entices her tremendously. She’s slowly turning into an addict and Hannibal is becoming her drug.

\-------------------------------

The knocking on the door catches her attention as she prepares two glasses of wine on her kitchen counter. Stella went to answer it and found Hannibal standing on her porch, striking as ever.

“Please, come in”, she invited him in.

They had talked to each other at their coffee meetings and after the incident but she has not had the pleasure of having him on her couch as a patient. How does it work? He knows something about her that she wouldn’t want anyone else to know. 

Boundaries…

Jean has thought that during her training back in London. It’s what therapists should master in order to attain their goal in treating patients. Stella must set a boundary between her and Hannibal. Keep everything about their relationship in a patient-psychiatrist manner while attempting to gather evidence to put him in jail.

“This always goes better if I’m perfectly honest with you”, she said.

Their first session is coming to an end after talking about his patients Abby and Will Graham. It’s time for her to lay out how things will go between them.

“What would be the point otherwise?” he asked.

“Well, one of us should be honest”, she emphasized.

“I am honest”, he said.

Stella stopped herself from raising an eyebrow. If he wants to play mind games with her, she knows how to play the same game as well.

“…not perfectly”, she disagreed.

“…as honest as anyone”, he insisted.

“…not really”, she continued. He stared at her. “I have conversations with a version of you and hope that the actual you get what he needs”, she said.

She can see the images of them sitting in the very same room with a dead man lying on the floor. Hannibal was a different man then. He let her see him and she cannot unsee that.

“A version of me?” he asked.

Stella smirked. Someday, her curiosity will be the end of her but she cannot help it. No matter how much she tries to deny it. She likes to play with fire. It’s the same reason why she chose to volunteer in catching Paul Spector when she does not have to. She was there to review the case, nothing more, but she volunteered to be SIO of the case. Of course, she wanted to catch him and stop the killings but at the same time, she likes the thrill. She likes the danger. The fact that Spector went after women, Stella was very much intrigued. She wanted to catch him so she could sit in front of him and dissect him like an animal. 

“Naturally, I respect its meticulous construction, but you are wearing a very well-tailored person suit”, she answered.

She can say the same thing about herself but Hannibal does not know that.

“Do you refer to me as person suit with your psychiatrist friends?” he asked.

That made her smile. He knows she does not have friends. If she does, she would not be spending her coffee afternoons with him.

“I don’t discuss patients with my psychiatrist friends, especially since I only have one patient who chose to ignore my retirement”, she answered.

Hannibal smiled at that. Stella was determined to stop playing psychiatrist when she returned. She thought about doing basic detective work in investigating Hannibal like breaking into his house and gather evidence herself but Hannibal insisted that she conducts treatment on him and Stella found it to be safer than breaking into his house. She will get close to him, close enough to know what’s going on inside his brain.

“A patient who wears a person suit”, he mused while looking away.

Perhaps, no one has said that to him before. Maybe he’s serious about getting help from her. Could it be possible he’s done something horrible before and wanting to change now?

“Maybe it’s less of a person suit and more of a human veil”, she suggested. He turned to her with an impressed look in his eyes. He is enjoying this. “That must be lonely”, she added.

“I have friends”, Stella knew all about his connections. “…and the opportunities for friends. You and I are friendly”, he said.

Boundaries…it’s time to set it.

“You are my patient and my colleague…not my friend”, his face dropped at that. “At the end of your hour, I will pour you a glass of wine. Nevertheless, you will be drinking it on the other side of the veil”, she explained.

She has to set boundaries in order to keep herself from falling into Hannibal’s depths of darkness. It will keep her from going over the edge.

“Why do you bother?” he asked.

She has never done that to her other patients. She likes helping them but they don’t intrigued her the way Hannibal does. Aside from him being their prime suspect, he is a fascinating human being.

“I see enough of you to see the truth of you and I like you”, she answered.

Did she just tell him that she likes him? That slipped out without her realizing it. Hannibal raises his eyebrow at her answer. Did that last part catch his attention or the one before that? She sees him now. Her mind settled on the answer he had given her when she asked about Mr. Hughes. It seems rather impossible and far reach for an explanation but Stella can stretch her imagination further.

“Red or white?” she asked as she gets up then walked to the kitchen.

“I think something pink, don’t you?” he answered then asked.

Stella poured them a glass of rosé and brought them to the living room where Hannibal is waiting.

“It’s not bad for our first session together”, he muttered as he took the drink.

She smiled and surprisingly, it’s her genuine smile.

“It was not bad at all”, she replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used the dialogue at Sorbet because it was just that good and I love that person suit remark. It was brilliant. So, Stella is back again in Baltimore...more is coming.


	9. Brain Chess

Hannibal is scheduled to see her once a week. Stella had installed a recorder in her living room hidden from his sight so she can listen to it at night and dissect every word he said. Little by little, she learned how to read between his lines. They haven’t dwell on the answer he had given her about Mr. Hughes death, of him being thoroughly enjoyed. Stella searched the internet for any possible explanation. Her curiosity is reaching a whole new level and she became quite adept with research throughout the web. Hannibal’s record has been kept sealed but she knows something in his childhood is the key to whatever kind of lifestyle he had developed.

Davies began to worry about Stella’s acceptance to being Hannibal’s doctor. Everyone knows how dangerous doubling can be and he does not feel comfortable with Stella’s plan to get inside Hannibal’s brain to get him to confess. He preferred her to get inside his house, turn the place upside down, and search for evidence that will link him to Mr. Hughes death.

As per order, Stella tried to refer Hannibal to another psychiatrist. She brought the subject up during one of their sessions and she readied herself for him to retaliate or lose his temper but surprisingly, he did not. He was calm the whole time and insisted on remaining her patient. He had promised to keep it honest and that he only trusts her to give him the right treatment. Once again, Stella found herself gravitating towards him and she surrendered to Davies’ dismay.

In their next session, Hannibal talked about another patient named Franklyn and what he feels an obsession that he has towards his doctor. It is funny the way he puts it. Stella finds Hannibal developing a whole new obsession to another person although she does not want to push that button just yet.

“I’m considering referring him to another doctor”, he muttered.

His eyes dug deep into hers making her grasp the meaning.

“Referrals can be complicated”, she commented.

Neal Frank is a good example of that but she does not need to mention that to Hannibal because he already knows.

“I referred you to another psychiatrist. You refused”, she reminded him.

Her mind brought her back to that day where she thought it would be the last she will see of him. He fought. He cited cases where treatments worked because the patients trusted their doctors with their thoughts and emotions. He insisted and he won.

“I’m more tenacious than Franklyn”, he explained.

“Why were you so tenacious?” she asked.

He paused and stared directly at her blue eyes.

“I feel protective of you. You support me as a colleague and psychiatrist, and as a human being. I want to be supportive of you…after what happened”, he answered.

Is that why he insisted on remaining her patient? He wanted to make sure she remains under his grasp as a result to what happened with Neal Frank? For a moment, she thought he’s serious about trusting her to help him overcome whatever it is he wants to overcome. He had her fooled with that.

“I’m not the only psychiatrist who’s ever been attacked by a patient”, she mentioned.

“I hesitated to bring up the subject of an obsessive patient because of your traumatic experience”, he said further.

What is the game he’s playing? They’re having a good conversation about his patient and all of a sudden, it went sideways and head straight to her attack. No. It’s all planned from the start by Hannibal. He specifically wanted to talk about Franklyn to open that can of worms. He wanted to keep on reminding her about that incident, remind her of what she has done and what he has done to protect her. This came after she tried to refer him to another psychiatrist. This is his way of telling her that if she tries to do the same, bad thing might happen.

“Hannibal…” she uttered. It breathes caution and firm sense of finality. “I’m your psychiatrist; you’re not mine”, she responded.

Hannibal’s gaze landed on the floor. He catches her tone of voice and the hidden meaning behind her words. He dropped the subject only to proceed to Will Graham and what he thinks is a possibility of friendship. Will Graham’s sensibility to violence and his ability to understand it appeals greatly to Hannibal. Stella can see his pattern loud and clear. It all suddenly came to her like a sunrise. Abigail, Neal Frank, Franklyn, and now Will Graham…all of them have something in common: they are all prone to violence.

Will can assume Hannibal’s point of view due to his job as a profiler. That puts him on top of his list. 

“It’s nice when someone sees us, Hannibal or has the ability to see us”, she said.

Hannibal may or may not admit to her what happened to Mr. Hughes but if she can direct to Will Graham’s direction and observe what he does next, she may get a chance to see the other version of Hannibal.

“You’ve helped me to better understand what I want in a friendship and what I don’t”, he noted.

He wants to be her friend. She knows that. For what reason? That she does not know. His intentions towards her remains unclear. She poses a challenge to him and she became his puzzle.

“Someone worthy of your friendship”, she reiterated.

I can help you…if you ask me to…

He said that to her. You only become worthy of his friendship if you can jump into the same cliff where he lives.

“You spend a lot of time building walls, Hannibal. It’s natural to want to see if someone is clever enough to climb over them”, she concluded.

That raised an eyebrow from him followed by a dazzling smile. How can danger be so damn attractive?

“You’re clever and you had climbed over those walls without you even knowing it”, he said.

Stella stiffened. He caught her off guard with that comment. She should feel proud at being able to climb his walls and get inside his head but the question is, will she be able to climb back out? She cleared her throat and focused on the session.

“I was hoping you will begin telling me about the incident. It’s why you’re here today which is not you’re scheduled appointment”, she changed topic.

Hannibal launched the story of what happened at his office. His patient died along with another man who initiated the attack. Stella is a little suspicious with regards to the truthfulness of the attack but she did not raise that. She let him talk. Her brain’s taking her back to the same nature of event that transpired in the very same room they’re in.

“It’s easy to understand why you retire after your attack”,

Stella shifted her gaze from him to the vase on his left. She had not paid enough attention to its details before but now she can see the elaborate pattern of it, the exquisite design. Hannibal picked it for her. Him and his taste.

“Will you ever feel comfortable returning to psychiatric work?” he asked snapping her out of her thoughts.

“This is psychiatric work”, she answered.

He is baiting her again. He is trying to push her over the cliff but she’s resisting.

“One patient is not a practice”, she should not be practicing at all but for some unexplainable reason, she did. “I can’t help feeling responsible for what happened to Franklyn”, he mused.

Remorse does not go hand in hand with Hannibal and Stella can see just that. He’s trying to keep her entertained.

“Every person has an intrinsic responsibility for their own life, Hannibal. No one else can take that responsibility…not even you”, she said.

Just like how she chose to keep seeing him as her patient despite Davies’ disapproval, or like she keeps on entertaining the idea of him in her head because she likes the danger. No one can take that responsibility but her. She made those choices. 

“Did you take responsibility when you were attacked by your patient?” he asked.

The air in the room changes. He is persistent on getting her to talk about that subject.

“Yes…but I don’t take responsibility for his death”, she answered, aware of the recording running behind the frame on the wall.

He seemed to approve of her answer.

“Nor should you”, he said.

When their time was up, she poured them wine to end their session for the week. The tension between them is thick, one can cut it with a knife. She is aware of him staring at her, watching her every move. It’s like he’s memorizing her every gesture. Instead of feeling awkward or uncomfortable, she feels thrilled, excited. Stella is feeling all the wrong things about him and it’s not good. She wonders if he feels the same attraction too.

“Bedelia, how do you categorize me as your patient?” he suddenly asked.

She met his eyes with intense gaze he felt it to his core.

“An individualist…a social anti-social…” she answered.

“…sounds like a sociopath, you’re just too polite to say it”, he interpreted.

“It is difficult to put you in a category, Hannibal, and I don’t think you would like to be put in a box like that”, she explained.

She is suddenly aware of how close they’re standing. No one can tell when one has closed off the distance but they’re too close.

“I fear once you figured me out, you will lose interest”, he remarked.

Her entire body says it would be a long shot for her to lose interest. She is exhausting herself to hold that from coming out. She’s on fire and he can see that. A smirk formed on his lips as he watched her eyes darkened. He likes seeing her enticed. He likes playing games with her like chess. He likes the tap dance. Perhaps, they both hunt the same thing, the thrill, and they are both after for that thing with each other.

Hannibal closed off what is remaining of the distance between them that their glasses produced a sound when they met. Her breathing hitched at the proximity of his body near to hers. How long has it been since she last entertained her body’s needs? It was in Belfast with Anderson and that was it. She was too beaten up to engage with anyone when she returned home and she flew to Baltimore few days after that. Her mind has been clouded with all things Hannibal for months, she even dreams about him. What is she doing?

“Hannibal…” she whispered, almost pleading for him to stop before she lost it.

He looked down on her waiting for her to look him in the eyes. He is seeking that intense stare she has with her blue eyes.

“Do I fascinate you, Dr. Du Maurier?” he asked in a low voice.

She looked back at him.

“You do, Dr. Lecter. I have to admit that I find it thrilling to decipher you”, she answered.

She saw him looked at her lips before retuning his eyes to hers. She failed to stop herself from licking her lips and he likes it.

“Do you think you have me figure out?” he asked again in challenge.

She knows a thing or two even without his confirmation, her theory strengthens every single day.

“I’m getting there somehow”, she answered.

His fingers found her lips and ran through it gently. It made her stop breathing. The gesture is so simple and yet so sensual it makes her knees feel weak.

“Hannibal, stop”, she managed to say firmly.

He did as ask.

“Come over to my place, Bedelia. Let me cook for you”, he invited.

“I’m afraid I have to decline the offer. I don’t do house calls with my patients”, she declined.

“That’s no trouble. I can bring over the feast to your door. Say yes, Bedelia”, he insisted.

The word that came out of her mouth is not what her brain told her to say, “Yes”, she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt like Hannibal discussing Franklyn with Bedelia is his way of pulling her back to her own attack when she's trying her best to bury that behind her. I brought it up straight from the show because not only the dialogue is brilliant but it's a nice move for Hannibal to keep her on her toes, reminding her what he knows about her. Stella being Bedelia, that leverage is strong since she got so much to lose.


	10. A Night with Hannibal and Jack Crawford

Stella found herself dressing for the occasion. Red is not her color. It reminds her so much of the time she clothed herself with the color to entice Spector and keep him on his toes, keep him unbalanced so he would spill everything to her. She likes safe colors, neutral ones, plain…more black and white. So why did she pick red for her dinner with Hannibal? Is she trying to entice him subconsciously? The way he closed the distance between them on their last session still makes her heart beats faster than normal. His scent burnt in her memory and the very essence of him excites her in no man had ever made her feel before.

The table has been set and all it’s missing is Hannibal and whatever dish he had prepared for her. She paused. That theory lingering inside her brain about Hannibal kept pushing in. She wondered. What kind of dish he prepared for her? More specifically, what kind of meat would it be or from whom? Is he really going that far with her? Would he really try to feed her with that if her theory is correct?

The doorbell rang. Stella walked towards the door and opened it revealing Hannibal holding the dish with both hands.

“Come on in”, she said.

Hannibal served the food onto the table with such grace. It’s rare for a man to be so well adept in the kitchen. He sure knows what he’s doing. 

“Smells like bonfire”, she commented.

It does smell delicious but her appetite is not there yet because in her mind, she kept imagining that meat is from someone else. Hannibal served her a portion on her plate before taking his seat.

“…this is the only way I can cook for you”, he said.

…because she kept declining his invitation to his home. Was it fear? It’s definitely uncertainty whether she will be able to make it out alive of his house. It’s not like being at her house alone with him is different. If he wants to kill her, there will be no one there to stop him.

“What do you want to talk about, Hannibal?” she asked.

He wants to say goodbye to Will Graham. That is unexpected. She knew his growing obsession with him and to end it this soon is uncharacteristic for Hannibal.

“You need to be careful, Hannibal. They might see your pattern”, she warned.

She is actually warning him so he won’t get caught. Isn’t it her purpose? She’s there to nail him, put him behind bars and throw away the key. 

“What pattern?” he asked.

He is curious what she thinks of him. She feels like it excites him the way she tries to solve him like a riddle. He is curious to know what she will come up with.

“You get involve with patients who are prone to violence. That pattern”, she answered bluntly.

That evaluation surprised him. Perhaps, he expected her to know that somehow but not so soon. It checked all the boxes on her list. It took him one look to confirm everything she is thinking about him. That’s his soft spot. Patients who are prone to violence is his cup of tea. Is that why he got interested in her in the first place? Did he sense in her that she’s prone to violence? Violence is her line of work. Does she have that kind of vibe in her?

“Tell me, Dr. Maurier. Are your beliefs about me began to unravel?” he asked with curious eyes.

She noted the way his face hardened. Stella hummed and accepted the challenge by slicing a piece of veal and put it in her mouth without breaking eye contact with him. She did not fail to catch the way he licked his lips while watching her chew that piece of meat. 

“Slowly but consistently”, she answered with confidence.

After dinner, Stella began cleaning up in the kitchen. She just ate something she’s not sure what it’s made of. It does taste delicious and it could be anything but given the way Hannibal looked at her earlier, it’s more than just meat. She sighed and closed her eyes. What is she getting herself into? She is straying away from her assignment which is to find out Hannibal’s involvement in Mr. Hughes’ death. Davies will be furious to know what she’s been doing with her time.

Suddenly, she felt warm hands on her shoulders. The contact is enough to send shivers down her spine. He gently put her hair on the side, revealing the skin of her neck to his view. He leaned over to smell her perfume and moaned a sound of approval. He likes it. Stella is gripping the sink. She should tell him to stop now. She should put an end to the evening before it’s too late but the words are stuck in her throat. Hannibal put his lips onto her neck and she gasped. His hands trailed down her arms, to her hands, back up again then travelled to her waist. 

“Hannibal…”

“Your mind works in mysterious ways. It’s beautiful”, he whispered without breaking contact on her neck.

Stella bit her lips. At the moment, denying how good it feels to have him near her like that would be a sin. The attraction is just so strong she feels like drowning from it. Mr. Hughes…that name kept appearing in her brain as he advances his touch on her body and his kiss on her skin became hungry. This is not what she’s there for. She’s there to solve a case. She’s there to provide justice to a man whose death was put at the background and forgotten. Bedelia may want Hannibal but Bedelia is only a part Stella is playing. She is still herself. 

“Stop”, she managed to find that voice in her.

All his actions stopped. She is grateful for his sense of respect when it comes to her wishes. She wouldn’t know what to do if he had not stop, if he found it arousing that she’s resisting. She would have given up eventually and let him do things to her that she will definitely regret in the morning. She waited until Hannibal stepped back before turning around to face him. His eyes are hungry, pupils dilated with lust and she’s sure hers reflects the same. 

“We can’t cross this line, Hannibal. I am your doctor. This cannot happen”, she emphasized trying to make him understand…trying to make herself understand.

“You say one thing and yet your body says another”, he noted.

Damn, she’s too obvious.

“Natural reflexes of human body, Hannibal. Surely, you’re familiar to it but that does not mean we should ignore logic and common sense”, she explained. 

“That is absolutely correct. After all, it’s our intelligence and control that separates us from common animals”, he agreed.

\------------------------------

Stella was the one who called it a night and Hannibal had obliged with her wishes, telling her goodnight and left in peace. She is not sure what just happened but little by little, their situation is shifting into something she wouldn’t want to know what.

Her doorbell ringing stopped her from her tracks on her way to her bedroom. She secretly wishes it to be Hannibal. Maybe he wanted to cross the line after all and turned around to finish what he started. It would be immensely wrong but she doesn’t think she will be able to stop him this time if he ever comes in the house. Stella took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Good evening, Dr. Du Maurier”, a man greeted her.

He’s not Hannibal. He’s someone she has not seen before.

“Good evening”, she greeted back.

“Agent Jack Crawford from the FBI. Can I talk to you for a moment?” he introduced himself while showing his badge.

Stella only nodded and let him in. What does an FBI agent want with her? The matter with Neal Frank was handled by local police and the case has been closed. 

“Do you have a court order, Agent Crawford?” she asked while they’re making their way to the kitchen.

“No, ma’am”, he answered.

“So, this is not a formal inquiry”, she concluded.

She saw him frown at the sound her British accent coming into play. It is hard for her to keep the American accent when she’s talking to another law enforcement officer. It just immediately takes her to being Stella Gibson.

“I need to talk to you about Dr. Hannibal Lecter. I was told you’re his psychiatrist”, he said.

Something happened again, she guessed. An agent desperate enough to go to someone’s therapist, it must mean of some great trouble. Jack Crawford launched his concern of Will Graham and his relationship with Hannibal. Stella played the card of patient-doctor confidentiality. Jack Crawford played the card of her attack.

“That’s not bad psychology, Agent Crawford”, she commented.

He is good, she thought. She will not be surprised if he catches up with Hannibal if he knows exactly where to look. 

“I wonder why you made an exception with Dr. Lecter considering you had retired. You agreed to treat him. What makes him different?” he asked.

Davies asked the same thing only from a different perspective.

“He is a colleague, Agent Crawford. He asked to seek treatment more as a favor. One patient wouldn’t hurt and so I said yes”, she answered as she played with her glass of wine.

Agent Crawford looked at her the same way she looks at people, calculating, analyzing. He is trying to read her.

“I did you look you up, Dr. Du Maurier. Fascinating record…clean, actually too clean”, he muttered.

Of course, it is. It is specifically crafted that way so she wouldn’t get attention but she is failing at that now.

“I fail to see your point, Agent Crawford”, she said.

“I referred Will Graham to Dr. Lecter. I trusted his expertise on helping him to deal with his demons but I am now starting to wonder if I have underestimated the power of a psychiatrist. The business of holding power in someone’s mind, can be a dangerous thing”, he explained.

Hannibal has a thing for manipulation. From what he has told her about Will Graham, Hannibal felt he’s helping Will with his state of mind, clearing paths for him. Now, she thinks Hannibal is not trying to help Will to get in the right track. Abigail is dead. Neal Frank is dead. Franklyn is dead. Stella can see Hannibal’s pattern crystal clear and Agent Crawford is beginning to see that too. Hannibal is playing Will, testing him, molding him into someone he has the potential to become if given the right push.

“All I can tell you is that Dr. Lecter thinks of Will Graham as his friend and he wants to help him”, she said.

It is the safest she can say without compromising her cover as psychiatrist and ruining the rapport she built with Hannibal.

“I consider Will as my friend and I want to help him as well”, he replied.

I believe you, she wants to tell him. It’s all in his eyes. Stella cannot say that. She cannot empathize with a fellow officer because at the moment she’s no DSI. She’s a psychiatrist.

“Then Will Graham is a lucky man. It seems a lot of people consider him as friend and want to help him”, she responded.

\----------------------------

The next session, Stella informed Hannibal of Jack Crawford’s visit and he expressed that he has no intention of letting go of his treatment with Will Graham. She can already predict what will comes next. Hannibal will eventually push Will far enough for him to break or do something he will regret. He will take the fall for Hannibal. Jack Crawford will come after Hannibal and in return, he will get to her and the truth of the incident with Neal Frank will come to light. She must act fast.

Letting go of Hannibal is the only thing she can think of that will save herself from Hannibal’s impeding doom. Stella finally set foot in his house, informed him that she is terminating their patient-psychiatrist relationship and left him disappointed in his own home. After which, she dropped by to see Jack Crawford to tell him that she’s no longer connected with Hannibal and asked him to leave her out of whatever it is he’s planning for Hannibal.

One would think that’s the extent of Stella’s plan but it was not. She geared up for the night and marched to Hannibal’s house and broke his window. It is time to gather evidence.


	11. Leaving and Back Again

The house is empty. She knew that because she saw Hannibal leaving it in a hurry. She could’ve picked the lock but she does not want to waste time. It is easy to make things look like a burglary and still get what she needs. Taste is definitely one of Hannibal’s strongest suits. Everything inside the house was picked in a meticulous way. It makes sense that he tried to extend that in her house. She took her time but moved efficiently. If he has something to hide, Hannibal wouldn’t hid it among the obvious spots. 

Stella navigated the house until she reached the basement. Armed with camera and evidence bags, she scoured his basement until she found a secret door leading to another room. Her eyes widened upon seeing what resides in his basement. Human bodies caged in glass cylinders. Body parts filled with cochlear savoring the flesh. She almost threw up at the sight of it but she fought it well. Everything she’s been accusing Hannibal of in her brain has been confirmed with a hundred percent certainty. All the evidences she needs are right in front of her. Of course, it would be hard to tell which is which. DNA test must be done in order to determine if some parts of Mr. Hughes are still around. She bagged a few strands of what she can use for DNA test, took pictures of the whole room and break things along the way of her exit to make it look like a robbery.

Going back to her house would be a mistake. She saw the look on Hannibal’s face when she told him that she’s ending their relationship. She let him down and he was hurt. Hannibal does not like losing and he will retaliate because of it. She needs to get away as far as possible from him and the FBI. If she fled the country, she will definitely catches the attention of Jack Crawford but if she goes back to London with the evidence she found in Hannibal’s house, she may not have to worry about Jack Crawford.

Stella drove straight to the airport. All her papers are named after Bedelia but she can talk her way when it comes to putting her luggage in x-ray machine. Davies is not expecting her back but she cannot wait any longer. If Hannibal is to find out what she did and he cannot kill her, he will definitely tell the police about what she did and it will screw her up. If she managed to put Hannibal in prison, he will bring her down with him as well. She’s screwed either way. 

Her first thought is to drop by at Jean’s house. She needed her warmth and reassurances so badly but she cannot bring the stress with her to her home. She’s pregnant and it’s a high risk pregnancy. Stella would not want to endanger her sister’s health and her baby’s. Instead, Stella checked herself in a hotel when she arrived in London. She needs to think before she proceeds with her next move.

“Hello?” Jean answered.

“It’s me, Jeanie”, Stella said.

“Stella? How are you? Wait, are you back here in London? Are you coming over?” her sister asked.

She wanted to tell her how much she wanted to but she can’t.

“No, I’m not back in London. I’m still here in America but I found the time to make a quick call, check how you’re doing and the pregnancy”, she lied.

If she’s standing in front of Jean, she will not be able to get away with it. 

“I’m fine, Stella. The baby is fine. My weight and body are not. I am a size of the fridge and it’s hard to stop eating when Jakob is excellent in the kitchen”, she answered which made Stella smile. “When are you coming back?” she then asked.

I don’t know, she wanted to say. It depends on the manner of her return. Will she return as DSI Stella Gibson or will she return as a murderer?

“Soon, Jeanie. This will be over soon”, she lied again.

“That is very good to hear. Well, let me know when you’re arriving so we can pick you up at the airport and please, take care of yourself. We love you”, Jean bought it whole.

“You too, Jeanie. Love you”, Stella replied.

\------------------------------

[The situation is getting out of hand with Dr. Lecter. An FBI came to see me asking about Dr. Lecter and his involvement with one of his patients. The agent became suspicious as well with my cover’s records and it is safe to assume that he’s watching me. Another patient of Dr. Lecter has died following the first one. No evidence was linked to Dr. Lecter on two deaths apart from the fact that he’s their doctor. I might have hit a dead end when it comes to the investigation of Mr. Hughes alleged death and I may not be able to report in a few weeks for my safety. I will get in touch as soon as I can.]

How easy it is to lie with typed words. She can construct it with such ease and Davies wouldn’t suspect it otherwise. She held on to the evidence for a few days before shipping it to a very close friend who works in a lab. She trusts him completely which allows her to entrust to him the evidence for DNA testing. 

Indulging herself for a few moments of serenity, she took her time with her bath before going back to her room to get dressed when she noticed that she’s no longer alone. Jack Crawford is already there waiting for her.

Stella turned to him, unashamed that he caught her with nothing but a piece of towel wrapped around her body.

“Agent Crawford, I must say that this is an unpleasant surprise”, she said with her thick British accent that made him smirked.

“I can wait until you get dressed, Dr. Du Maurier”, he offered.

“So, this will take long?” she presumed.

“Oh, yes…you can say that”, he confirmed.

Stella dressed right in front of him. She is a proud woman when it comes to her body and sexuality. She will not give him the satisfaction of showing that his presence made her uncomfortable although it did on some level but not when it comes to her body. He made her uncomfortable because of the nature of his sudden visit and the fact that he tracked her down to London is a big red flag.

“Start talking, Agent Crawford”, she said once she’s done putting her clothes on.

“Let’s start with honesty, Dr. Du Maurier”, she held her breath. “There is something you’re not telling me about Dr. Lecter and about yourself. That is why you fled here after you ended your treatment with Dr. Lecter and your visit to our office. I need you to tell me what it is”, he said.

He does not know yet who she truly is. She had used Bedelia’s credit card in checking in and not her own so that Davies wouldn’t find out she’s back in London. He wouldn’t have the mind to think that she will use Bedelia’s name in the city but it lead Jack Crawford to her hotel room. 

“Am I being charged with something?” she asked.

“Do I need to charge you with something?” he asked her back.

“Considering you travelled all the way here and tracked me down in a hotel, I’d say you have more than curiosity going on”, she muttered.

He smiled. She noticed how similar Jack Crawford can be with Hannibal. They both enjoy the mind chess game. They both feel challenged by her.

“I can see that Dr. Lecter got something on you and I believe it concerns your attack. He gave a statement to the police about it. That is what’s preventing you from talking and instead of coming to me, you flew here to get away”, he said.

Crawford hit all the right boxes. He is good at his job, she noted.

“What are you proposing, Agent Crawford?” she asked.

Crawford nodded, expecting she will ask that, and produced a piece of paper and handed it to her.

“It’s an immunity from prosecution. Whatever it is you have to say won’t be hold against you. You’re protected. It is already signed by a judge. You don’t have to worry about going to prison”, he answered.

It is a good deal. She can confess to anything and they can’t put her to court. 

“What do you want from me, Agent Crawford? I was just Hannibal’s psychiatrist”, she asked again. 

This whole game is already exhausting her.

“We both know you’re more than his psychiatrist and I am not implying anything inappropriate. Come back to Virginia. Bear with a few hours inside our interrogation room with me and Will Graham. After that, you’re free to go”, he answered.

Stella stared at the piece of paper in her hand. It’s her way out of the mess Hannibal had put her into. This is what’s going to free her from his clutch.

“…and where is Hannibal right now?” she asked.

“We don’t know. He’s gone into hiding after he pushed another agent out of the window. It was a bloody mess”, he answered.

Stella sighed and looked back at him.

“I suppose you want to be on the plane right now”, she muttered.

\-----------------------------

Once again, Stella found herself in America. She paced back and forth inside the interrogation room in Virginia. Jack Crawford had left to get Will Graham. She is nervous despite signing the immunity order. She kept the truth of the incident to herself for months and the idea of speaking the truth about it now dreads her. Will they see it as an accident or as a premeditated act on her part?

“Dr. Du Maurier, this is Will Graham”, Jack announced when the two men came in the room.

“Finally, we meet, Mr. Graham. I heard a lot about you I almost feel like I know you”, she said.

“You don’t”, Will muttered.

She can see why Hannibal became fascinated by him.

“I don’t”, she replied.

“Let’s start”, Jack intervened.

Stella told them about how she met Hannibal at the conference. She told them about their afternoon coffee meetings, his initiative in starting conversations with her. She told them that it was him who referred Neal Frank to her care, his diagnosis about him and his notes.

“He is shaping your thoughts about Neal Frank before you even meet him. That’s his thing. He’s putting ideas in your head to control your next moves”, Will mentioned.

Stella knew that now but she doesn’t at the time.

“He attacked me at my office. He was upset that he’s not getting the treatment he wanted and accused me of conspiring with Dr. Lecter. I tried to calm him down. When I did approach him, he pushed me hard back at my couch and yelled on my face…and then, he had seizure”, she trailed off.

“Did you kill him, Dr. Du Maurier?” Jack asked.

She met his eyes and she’s not running this time.

“Yes. I believe it was called self-defense and to a point it was but beyond that point, it as murder”, she answered without blinking an eye.

Jack Crawford was stunned by how she put it. Will Graham is not. He knew how it was. He was under Hannibal’s influence for a time so he gets why she said it like that. They have an understanding no one will understand, not even Jack Crawford.

“We will get Hannibal”, Will said.

“Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you’re about to catch him. If you think that you are close, it is because he wants you to think that way. He will always be two steps ahead but then again, you already know that, Mr. Graham”, she replied.

Their time ended and Stella gathered her bag and followed Jack Crawford out the door but stopped just in time to be near Will Graham. He came to a halt and let Stella came closer.

“I believe you”, she whispered into his ear and it’s like a psychic connection. His eyes welled up.

Stella walked away leaving the two men stunned along the hallway.

Going back to her house is definitely a bad idea but she needs to. Everything remains the same as she had left it, except for the bottle of her perfume on the table in the living room. She knew instantly that Hannibal is there. That’s why no one can find him. Stella then proceeded to the kitchen, poured herself a drink and went to her bedroom with her gun in her hand.


	12. Sweet Escape

The sound of the water running informed Stella that Hannibal took the liberty to make himself at home and shower in her bathroom. She settled on her bed with her glass of scotch. Normally, she would settle with wine but for this occasion, she needs something stronger. Once the water stopped, she positioned her gun casually above her lap and waited for him to come out.

For the first five seconds, she allowed herself to take in his form, admire his physique, before she clicked her gun announcing her presence in the room. Hannibal stopped and turned to her. It’s like looking in a mirror. He’s proud and confident with himself, his sexuality, his body that there is no trace of shame or shyness in his eyes to the fact that he’s bare in front of her. The same look she got when Jack Crawford came unannounced in her hotel room while she’s wrapped with only a towel.

“May I get dress?” he asked politely.

The manners…he can be as violent or as manipulative but manners never left his being.

“You may”, she granted without removing her gun which is pointing at him.

Her eyes trailed all over him as he gets dressed. Why can’t he be an ordinary man? He is brilliant, intelligent, and charming. She wouldn’t mind at all spending few nights with him if he’s only like that. She wouldn’t mind the thing for mind games just minus the cannibalism and the urge to kill.

“What have you done, Hannibal?” she asked without intending to sound tired but she is.

“I took off the person suit”, he simply said.

He showed his violent side to the others. For the time that she has known him, he was very careful in maintaining the suit, keeping appearances, keeping control.

“You let them see you”, she muttered.

“I let them see a part of me”, he corrected.

That’s right. They don’t know yet the full extent of his personality. They don’t know what gets his appetite going. She does.

“Why did you end our patient-psychiatrist relationship?” he suddenly asked.

He did not ask that or rather ask it in different manner when she came to his office that day. This time, he is sincere about the question. He wants to know the answer.

“I lack the appropriate skills to help you”, she answered.

For once, she actually means it. A part of him wants to get better somehow. He listens to her on occasion. At first, she believed she may be able to treat him, remove the primal instinct or at least tame it but in the end, she failed. 

“I never found you lacking”, he countered.

“I am sorry that I was not able to provide you with a suitable treatment”, she apologized.

She just wants it all to be over. It is supposed to be over. With the immunity granted to her, she can just turn over the evidence she gathered to Davies and be done with all of these but that would mean sending Hannibal to prison. She kept telling herself before that putting him behind bars will only result with her own imprisonment but now that is out of the way, she still cannot bring herself to cause his incarceration. She is too drawn to him and despite all the logical reasons running in her brain, her entire being yearns to be near him, to be near the danger.

“You are optimistic that I won’t kill you”, he said to her like he can read her mind or maybe he can.

She knows that before coming inside the room. When she saw her perfume at the living room, she knew somehow he will not kill her. Hurt her, maybe, but end her life, no. Stella set her gun aside and kept on drinking as Hannibal poured himself his.

“Where did you go after you left?” he asked when he settled next to her on the bed.

“London”, she answered truthfully.

It is safe to admit that because she used Bedelia’s name in checking in and on her flight details.

“That is a long way”, he commented.

“Well, you friend at the FBI Agent Crawford won’t stop bugging me. You seemed to trigger a lot of people here and he ended up tracking me all the way to London”, she explained leaving the details of her immunity.

“He brought you back here?” he asked.

“He did. I was allowed to go after two hours of waiting”, she answered.

He took a sip from his glass and turned to her.

“What did he ask you?” he proceeded.

“Neal Frank…he asked about the attack. I told him the story that we agreed, and he thought there’s nothing to get out from me, he let me go”, she further explained.

Half truths…she found herself being good at narrating half truths nowadays and it’s proven necessary in surviving her life as Bedelia.

“I cannot remain here in Baltimore anymore, Bedelia”, Hannibal muttered while looking at the wall. “…and they will not let you have your peace while you’re here”, she turned to him, unsure of what he’s proposing, “Baltimore became crowded for the two of us”, he added.

“Hannibal…”

“Have you ever been in Europe?” he asked.

“I cannot go with you”, she said.

“You cannot or will not?” he asked.

She cannot because it would be messed up and wrong. She cannot because it’s not part of her job, a job she already compromised by deliberately protecting him from getting caught. She will not…but she’s not as strong as she used to be when it comes to Hannibal. He is beginning to be her kryptonite.

“This will not end, Hannibal. Changing scenery has never been proven a substitute for therapy”, she answered.

Unless he decides to change his ways, moving away to start anew will never work for them. If the killings won’t stop, peace will never grace their door.

“Come with me, Bedelia. I would feel better if you do. They will come for you here because of me and I want to protect you. I promise you, it won’t feel like hiding”, he invited.

“Oh, Hannibal…can you even promise to control your impulses?” she asked.

The escape sounds promising to her ears but she needs to make sure she will get something out of it, that she’s not just walking to her grave.

“I can promise you that I will try”, he answered.

She searched his eyes for any lies. For all she knows, he’s only deceiving her, but she found nothing. He is also tired like her. They can use a change of scenery and Europe sounds so appealing.

“Where to?” she asked.

A smile slowly formed on his lips.

“City of Love, where else?” he answered.

\-----------------------------

In her mind, she rationalized her decision to go as educational. She is there because she’s curious about Hannibal and his rare nature. A civilized man with uncivilized appetite. By going with him, she can study him, understand him, and quite possibly help him overcome his tendencies, treat him. Those are only rationalizations. She knows that’s not the main reason why she agreed. The answer is something she does not want to admit yet.

Sitting next to Hannibal at the plane feels different for her. For someone who has been estranged with commitment, their relationship is nothing but commitment. She is committing to a life of fake identity, no family, only Hannibal. He is committing in trying to tame the beast within and his vow to protect Bedelia at all cost. What they have is in all form, commitment. How did she get in this position?

If only Jean can see her now, she might be appalled by her choice of men but she may point out to her face the very thing she’s been trying to tell her for years…settling. Stella never thought that out of all the men available in the planet, a sociopath/psychopath, cannibal, and stone-cold killer will be the one who was able to break down her walls.

“You speak French very well”, Hannibal commented after she had spoken with the attendant.

“I took foreign language in college”, she explained.

“Do you speak Italian as well?” he asked.

“I favor that more than French”, she answered with a smirk.

Hannibal made a face and squeezed her hand.

“Impressive”, he replied and never took off his hand on hers throughout the flight.

At one point, Stella fell asleep and when she wakes up, she realized she’s leaning on his shoulder. His coat is already covering her, protecting her from the cold. She felt touched at all of it. What is happening to her? She knew she’s deeply attracted to Hannibal and she thought it’s because of the danger he poses but this is something else. She has never felt anything this strong before in her life and it’s frightening. She feels like falling without a parachute and there’s only him to hold on to or otherwise, she will die.

“Thank you”, she whispered as she straightened herself up.

“You’re welcome. We’re almost there”, he replied.

\---------------------------

When they landed in Paris, Hannibal handed her a set of papers which she opened once they got in the car to their accommodation. She turned to Hannibal with a frown on her face.

“Stella Jakov?” she asked, feeling ironic at the sound of her true name rolling on her tongue.

“It’s temporary. I plan us to move to Florence after a few days”, he answered.

She glanced at his temporary I.D. and saw the name Boris Jakov. She is not sure if she can take another fake identity. She is already living one and her fake life is trying to assume another fake identity. It is like playing a role within a role. She prays it won’t drive her mad.

Paris is a gorgeous city but Hannibal has a point of it being attention-magnet. For two people living a secret life, being in a famous city will not do them good.  
Hannibal made sure that their temporary accommodation is comfortable. He goes out at night in search for something she does not know what. She never asks. She contemplated sending message to Davies but he will only ask what’s going on and she’s not ready to tell him that yet. She waited for him to come back for any new plan with regarding to their move to Florence. For the first three nights, he got nothing. Stella kept her cool and tried to make a home at least of the place they’re in which Hannibal appreciated. The conversation became their source of entertainment. She can match any topics he wants to talk about and he likes it.

One night, Hannibal came back and found her reading a book in her bedroom. 

“I did not know what time you’re coming back but there is a left over for you in the fridge”, she said without looking at him.

He did not respond. He only stared at her while she reads. Noticing his silence, Stella averted her gaze at the book and looked back at him.

“Hannibal…what is going on?” she asked.

“Will you be comfortable being my wife, Bedelia?” he asked her back.

She frowned. She deeply wishes that it’s not an actual proposal because she wouldn’t know what to say. She might flip out.

“We are moving to Florence, aren’t we?” she guessed.

“Mr. and Mrs. Fell…quite posh couple. They are both educated and with class. It wouldn’t be hard for you to play the part. She’s basically you only with brain”, he confirmed.

In other words, he killed Mr. and Mrs. Fell so they can assume their identities and disappear in Florence. Stella is being pushed further and further into the background as she now has to make room not only for Bedelia Du Maurier but also for Mrs. Fell.

“So, when are we going?” she asked.


	13. Life in Florence

FLORENCE, ITALY

Stella marveled at the house that was meant to be occupied by the Fell’s. She now goes by the name of Lydia Fell, wife of Dr. Roman Fell who is now being portrayed by Hannibal. She can see why he chose their identities for them. They are distinguished, member of higher society, something Hannibal can resonate with. Their previous disguises as the Jakov’s does not hold a candle to the Fell’s. They were nobody, created only for temporary disguise. Embodying the Fell’s is for the long game. 

“What’s this?” she asked when Hannibal handed her a small box.

He did not answer and waited for her to open the box. Her eyes widened upon seeing a diamond ring inside which can only worth a fortune.

“You’re my wife now. A ring is in order. Do you like it?” he explained and then asked.

Stella is not a materialistic type of person but she would be lying if she said that she does not like the ring at all because she does. 

“It’s beautiful”, she answered.

Hannibal gently took the ring from her and put it on her finger himself. She almost stopped breathing while watching him do it. It should mean nothing. It’s for their cover or rather the cover of her cover. It’s nothing personal. Yet, his eyes tell her otherwise. He’s making her feel it’s more than for their new identities. It’s a binding ring. Him putting it on her finger means she’s now bound to him and in a way she is. She just does not want to admit it.

“Hannibal…I don’t know what we’re doing exactly”, she admitted.

All her purpose, her goal, her plans…they’re all gone from her. She is following Hannibal wherever he goes without her sight. The mindset that makes Stella Gibson, Stella, is slowly diminishing.

“We are starting a new life, Bedelia”, he said.

Yet, he calls her by her fake name. What she is feeling for the man in front of her is more real than she would like but he does not know her at all. He is intrigued by Bedelia. He might like Bedelia but not Stella. A strand of fear crept inside her. What if he finds out who she really is?

“Now, I wonder what kind of life would that be”, she muttered.

\----------------------------

FIVE MONTHS LATER

Both Stella and Hannibal fell seamlessly into being Lydia and Roman Fell. He was right about playing their roles would be a piece of cake for them. They got enough money running between them to sustain their luxurious lives in Florence but Stella worried what will happen once they ran out. It’s not like she can practice psychiatry in Florence. She is no longer Bedelia in that place. She is Lydia Fell and Lydia is not a psychiatrist. 

Hannibal had occupied the position for Roman Fell at the Palazzo Capponi as its curator. She was hesitant at first but he did study quite hard to earn it. He read books, articles about Italian arts to be knowledgeable at the said occupation. Soon, Stella does not need to worry about finances. Hannibal sticks to his words and tried his best to avoid violence since they arrived in Florence. She continues being his sounding board, listening intently to his random thoughts, offering her opinions on some matters. In a way, they had continued their therapy in their new home in Florence.

One night, Stella is getting ready for bed while Hannibal was playing the piano at the lounge. They agreed that it will be her job to do the grocery run which will give her the opportunity to shop in town and breathe some air. She let her hair loose and picked up the book at the nightstand when she heard him come in her room.

“Is there a problem?” she asked without looking at him.

Stella began to put back the book at the nightstand as she feels that it may be a long night. There were times when Hannibal is feeling melancholic and that would result into long hours of conversation. She knows that he misses the thrill of murder and cannibalism. He is doing his best to uphold his promise but it’s making life dull for him. When she turned around to face him, he’s already right in front of her.

“Hannibal…”

His hand gently touched her face as his thumb rubs along her lips. His eyes trailed at her open robe revealing her night dress. How many times they’ve been in this position? In all of those moments, Stella was able to put a stop to it before it gets out of hand, always enforcing boundaries but are there still boundaries left between them at this point?

“You’re so beautiful it almost hurts”, he whispered.

Her knees are getting weaker. This is so not her. She takes control. She sets the pace. She does not let men take power over her but with Hannibal, his words are enough to bring her down her knees. How can someone holds so much power?

“What are we doing?” she asked.

“Something we should have been doing long time ago”, he answered.

With that, he put his lips on hers and she just melted. She couldn’t stop him even if she wants to. Her own body will not allow her. She feels the fire all over she fears it will burn the entire place down. His hands roamed around her body and her reflexes kicked in. Stella grabbed his hands forcefully and set them aside. She tried to take control but failed when he grabbed her wrists in return. She gasped at the force but instead of triggering her detective side, it excites her. Yes, the danger is a big factor between them. He removed her robe and pushed her down the bed. He is in control.

Stella feels like she’s going to explode. It’s not like it’s the first time she slept with a man. It’s not. She does it all the time and she’s not ashamed of it. It’s not the first time as well that she feels sex is more than a release when she does it with someone she really likes but Hannibal is different. She had found her match in more ways than one with him. They’re equal in everything, even in their most dangerous side. With every touch he leaves on her skin, she moans. Time seemed to stop and once the haze had dissipates, Stella was left panting, gasping, completely spent on her bed with nothing on but Hannibal’s arms wrapped around her body.

He did not leave. He got what he wanted from her and he did not leave. She had expected him to go back to his room afterwards but he stayed with her until she fell asleep.

When the morning comes, she found the breakfast ready on the table. Her body is sore from last night’s encounter but she managed to force herself to get herself together. Hannibal was humming along to the music while pouring coffee on her cup.

“Good morning, Bedelia. Please, have a seat”, he greeted.

He seemed happier. It’s been a while since she last saw him glow and it usually involves him slicing someone open in order for him to be that happy but not today. Stella took her seat and joined him. Hannibal has always been an excellent cook and she can appreciate that he’s serving more vegetables and fruits than meat. When he does serve meat, it’s from the grocery store and not from someone they met.

“I will be at the museum today. Will you be alright here?” he asked.

“Yes, I will be”, she answered.

“I will be back early and maybe we can go out tonight and watch the opera. I know how much you love that form of art”, he suggested.

Is this really happening? They became domestic so sudden. When does the shift happen? She failed to see that. Even with the way he looks at her, it’s all different now. There is still that intrigued in his eyes, the curiosity towards her, but at the same time, there’s something warm in them. 

“I would like that very much”, she replied.

[Stella, we are all getting worried about you. It’s been months since the last time we heard from you. What is going on? We heard that Dr. Lecter had disappeared from Baltimore and so were you. Please let us know you’re fine. Your sister won’t stop calling us. She’s deeply worried.]

Stella rubbed her eyes upon reading Davies’ message. Jean must have given birth by now and she missed it. She missed everything as Stella because she chose to be Bedelia and join Hannibal. She is giving up everything and for what? To be with a psychopathic killer? Is it all worth it? She can come up with millions of reasons why it is not worth it but nothing can explain what she’s feeling for him. She had crossed the line. She had crossed it, stomped on it, and erased it. It’s too late to go back now.

\-----------------------------

THREE MONTHS LATER

Things are going well for Hannibal and Stella. Their relationship has blossomed into something else and she became not only his psychiatrist but his partner in everything. She is immensely proud that he managed to control his impulses in eight months. He has not killed anyone aside from the Fell’s which was done out of necessity. He is getting better or so she thought.

The gala has been a disaster. For the first time since they fled America, she saw that glint in his eyes when Sogliato tried to humiliate him in front of everybody. Of course, she tried to salvage the situation by ushering the man away from Hannibal. Her ‘husband’ despise rudeness and what Sogliato did was a major offense. Hannibal showed off his skills in Dante and accepted Sogliato’s challenge in doing a lecture. Stella is deeply worried. Something in him has been awakened and she fears that it might undo everything they worked so hard for.

Later that night, he climbed her bed and spent the night with her. It was everything she wanted but something else is bothering her.

“You’re troubled about what happened earlier”, Hannibal made the assumption while nuzzling her neck.

“I am worried”, she corrected.

“What about?” he asked.

“I think you know the answer to that”, she said.

He does. She knows that he does. They had developed that connection between them where one can finish what the other has to say. It is a powerful thing and it does save them the effort of trying to express themselves when the other already understood what the other meant.

“I will not risk the peace we found here for one jealous Italian”, he said.

She tightened her grip on his arm.

“Thank you”, she said.

But he broke that promise…it did not even take him a week to do so. He had killed Antony Dimmond in their home, right in front of her. She knew it’s going to happen. From the moment, Hannibal brought him to their dinner table, she knew he’s planning on killing him. He even went far as serving both of them his marinating recipe. The beast had woken up and she cannot do anything to subdue it again. She tried to flee. She’s already deep in the ocean but she cannot go any deeper, not again. He had stopped her. She remained frozen while he smashed his head. He had asked her if she’s observing or participating. 

She’s been a participant. She knows that and he made it clear. Then, he broke his neck, ending his suffering but not hers.

There’s so much blood on the floor. The smell of it filled the entire house and Stella felt like she’s about to faint. Eight months of peace now all gone because of one man who cannot stay away. It will be a lie if this is going to be the last time. Dimmond discovered their disguises but that could have been avoided. Hannibal did not want to avoid it. He felt challenged and he eliminated that challenge.

“Your bath is ready”, he said.

Stella remained frozen. Her eyes fixed on his body onto the floor.

“It was necessary”, he explained.

She turned around and walked to him to get her towel from his hands. She is suddenly so exhausted. What little world they had created suddenly came crashing down on her and she’s dying.

“You tell yourself that but we both know the truth”, she muttered.

“Bedelia, everything will go back to the way it was”, he said

She met his eyes and she did not even bother putting up a wall. She wants him to know how she feels this time.

“You broke your promise and you risk the peace we found here over one jealous man”, she replied coldly and left.


	14. Way Out

Stella continued living as Lydia Fell or rather as Bedelia pretending to be Lydia. It’s all confusing even for her and sometimes, she lost track of who she really is. Hannibal does seem to notice. He has been distanced, busy at keeping appearance. He values the status he created for himself as Roman Fell and he wants to cherish it but it is impossible to guarantee its longevity for the beast in him has been reawakened. She can see the fire back in his eyes and that’s not the same fire she sees each time he comes to her bed and touches her. It’s the fire she sees in his eyes when he’s playing games with unsuspecting victims. It’s the same fire she saw when Sogliato insulted him in public.

It is no surprise when Hannibal invited the Professor over. Stella clings to silence while Hannibal serves the food. He is giving her the same dish he served when they had dinner with Antony Dimmond…the marinating dish. She struggled to chew it, afraid she will throw up on the table. Sogliato will not stop talking and it’s filling up every inch of the house. At one point, he let out another rude comment on Hannibal and she knew his time has come. It was like a slow motion, the way Hannibal pierced his brain with an ice pick. Sogliato was still alive and in pain, delirious, completely unaware of what just happened. Meanwhile, Hannibal took his seat and started eating, commenting that it may have been impulsive like it was nothing.

Sogliato looked directly at her and chuckled. She wondered how Hannibal can continue to eat while there’s a man with an ice pick in his head. It took her a few seconds before she got on her feet and pulled it out, putting an end to his misery.

“Technically, you killed him”, Hannibal mentioned.

Her jaw almost hit the floor. Is this why he brought Sogliato home? Is it a test for her if she will care enough? Is he framing her again? Her temper is rising through the roof and yet it’s amazing how she’s able to keep her composure on the outside.

“I think I lost my appetite. I should retire to my room. Enjoy your meal, Hannibal”, she muttered coldly and left.

\-------------------------------

It’s gone. What little of peace they have found is gone. Two men are now dead and it does not help that they’re both part of the same crowd. She can understand why Hannibal had to kill Roman and Lydia Fell but Antony Dimmond and Sogliato? His reasoning is becoming more and more shallow. It’s now about the thrill of it. The old Hannibal is back, the man she was sent to put in prison.

What have you gotten yourself into, Bedelia? He asked once.

She asks the same question to herself every single day and for eight months, she thought it was worth it. He was keeping his promise. He was becoming a better man, an educated and hardworking man who strives to be the best curator in Florence. She believed that she was helping him. It turns out, she only made a fool out of herself. Stability is not something Hannibal wants. He lives for the adrenaline rush, that high all the serial killers chase with each of their kill. How can she be so naïve to think that Hannibal will be different? She has dealt with the likes of him and she still fell for him.

She got the evidence to put him down. Her friend informed her that the samples she got from his house matches with Mr. Hughes’ DNA. That is enough to lock him up and yet she cannot push herself to do so.

Two men are dead. It finally dawned on her what Hannibal was trying to do. He is calling out his opponents. He wants them to find him. When she saw the newspaper about the brutal display of violence in one of the churches, a corpse disfigured to mimic an art, she knew it’s Hannibal’s handy work. It was the body of Antony Dimmond and he put it there to draw Will Graham and Jack Crawford. He is taunting them. Hannibal does not want to continue the lives they have in Florence. Not anymore. 

“Tell me, what you’re after Hannibal?” she asked.

“I’m still after the same thing”, he answered.

“No, you’re not, not anymore. I would appreciate it if you answer me truthfully”, she said.

Hannibal looked at her and she can see the man who walked in her former house for his first session of therapy, the calculating gaze. A switch has been flipped.

“You already know about it, Bedelia”, he replied.

She sighed.

“You’re drawing them to you. You want to be caught”, she concluded and he nodded. “Do you really want to throw all of these away, Hannibal?” she asked.

“A little game must be play in order to spice up one’s life”, he simply said.

Stella nodded. She is understanding what he wants completely. The fairytale is over and it’s time to get back to reality. Knowing Jack Crawford’s skills as an agent, they may find them in less than a week which means she has to think how she will get herself out of the situation before it comes to that. The immunity may not work on her right now considering she chose to run with a criminal to another country and has been an accessory to his crimes.

“Bedelia?” he heard Hannibal asked but she couldn’t see him.

The entire room is spinning. He said something after that before everything turns black.

\---------------------------------

His face is the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. She is now in her bedroom, lying comfortably on her bed with him sitting next to her.

“What happened?” she asked, her body is filled with drugs.

“You fainted. I do not know if you have underlying condition so I checked for the basics. Your blood sugar is low as well as your blood pressure. Any of those two can cause you to faint. I made you a drip to get your blood sugar running. You may need to rest here for a bit so you can regain your strength”, he answered.

She glanced at the drip at the bedside that’s connected through her arm.

“It must have been that”, she muttered.

His hand landed on hers and gave it a squeeze.

“You are worried. I can tell. I know I made a promise that I will try and I did but I can’t anymore”, he explained.

She already knows that. Before he even said it, she’s already thinking of it. It’s his nature. He tried to change it, suppress it, but it’s only a matter of time before he gets tired of trying and he did get tired.

“What will happen now…to us?” she found herself asking.

Is she part of his plan? Did he consider what she will feel when he first thought of his plan to draw the authorities back to him? Did he consider her sake?

“I will give you the freedom to choose, Bedelia. I will not force you to stay and I will not ask it of you. Things will get dangerous here and I vowed to keep you safe so I would ask you to leave”, he answered.

Everything is so contradicting. She already thought of this. She knew that she may have been used, tricked, manipulated, lead on. Hearing that from him questioned all of those things. He might still care for her after all. He just happened to be torn between his instincts and his feelings for her.

“…and what will you say of me then?” she asked.

He smiled.

“I will tell whatever version of story you want me to tell. I will help you because you asked me to…and because I want to”, he answered.

This is where they part. She knows that now. It may be the last time they will see each other.

“You need to go, Hannibal. You cannot stay here. I can take care of myself. They will kill you if they find you”, she said.

She’s protecting him again like a fool she is. She should stop him, put him in jail for his crimes, but that would mean ending whatever it is they have with each other and Stella is not quite ready for it. In fact, she’s not even ready to give up the life they built in Florence.

“You continue to surprise me, Bedelia”, he whispered and placed one more kiss on her lips before she drifted back into unconsciousness.

When she woke up, Hannibal is already gone like what she asked him to. Stella removed her drip and took out her black purse she stash at the vent as a backup plan she never thought she will ever need. In her years of being a detective, she learned a few tricks to survive predicaments such as this one. She poured the liquid from a small vial into the bag of her drip and then put the black purse into the drawer before putting back the drip under her skin. 

It’s effect was fast. Her vision blurred in an instant. What she’s playing is dangerous and it could possibly cost her, her life but it’s her only way out. It would make sense to everyone and would erase any suspicion on her part. Her head became lighter and lighter. Hannibal must have been far from Florence by now. He will be safe. She felt relieved at that fact. She wants him to be safe. She saw that there’s a chance for a beast to live like a normal human being even if it’s only temporary. She saw his heart. 

“Dr. Du Maurier? Dr. Du Maurier? Can you hear me?” someone called but the voice is too far away.

“She’s too out of it”, another one said.

“What the hell did he give her?” the voice asked.

What the hell is going on? Stella wanted to ask but she found herself unable to.

“Heroine…there is a purse here filled with it. I don’t know how much he put into the bag or how long it’s been dripping into her”, another answered.

She felt a small sting.

“Ain’t taking any chance…she can OD in this room. Start the car. We’re taking her to the hospital”, the voice said and she felt like floating.

\------------------------------

When she opened her eyes, a bright white light greeted her that it hurt her eyes for a few seconds before her vision was able to adjust to it. She’s no longer in their house in Florence. No. She’s in a hospital. Events leading up to it came back to her especially her administering drugs to herself to save herself.

“Dr. Du Maurier, can you remember me?” Jack Crawford asked.

He is sitting next to her bed. He looked exhausted. She actually took pity on him. He’s been working very hard to catch Hannibal and she’s doing everything she can to protect him which makes his job harder.

“Agent Crawford? What’s going on? Where am I?” she asked him back, pretending to not remember.

“You’re in a hospital. Do you remember what happened?” he answered then asked.

She is aware there is another figure in the room but she did not let them see that.

“We were talking in that interrogation room with Mr. Graham. Then, I went back to my home to shower and go to bed. I remembered pouring myself a drink when I saw my perfume in the living room. I did not recall leaving it there when I left. I heard the water running in my bedroom. Someone’s there but I got my phone cut off before I left and I left my bag in the kitchen. Hannibal…” she closed her eyes trying to force herself to picture the lie she’s creating, “…he was in my home. I couldn’t remember much. Everything is just mixed up. I think I’ve been on a plane once. I’m not sure”, she added.

Jack Crawford sighed.

“Dr. Du Maurier, you’ve been on a plane, yes, with Dr. Lecter”, he said.

She frowned as part of her act.

“What? Where did we go?” she asked.

“Florence, Italy…that’s where we are right now. You’ve been here for almost a year living as Lydia Fell, Roman Fell’s wife who happened to be Dr. Lecter’s alias”, he answered.

“No. I would remember at least. That’s not possible”, she muttered.

“When we found you, you got a drip filled with heroine and he left you there to die from overdosing. You almost did. We’re lucky we got there on time or we could’ve lost you”, he explained.

They bought it. Even Will Graham who’s watching her from the corner. She almost died. It makes everything airtight. 

“I guess I should be thanking you, Agent Crawford”, she replied.


	15. Back Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Got busy at work and school. Here is another chapter. Enjoy!!!

Davies had commended Stella for her great work on going undercover for Hannibal. She finally surrendered the evidence she had sent to her friend for testing and safekeeping. She interwoven facts with lies in order to save herself and try to justify and make sense the last year to her boss and the entire Met. She has no idea where Hannibal has gone or if he has been caught by the people who wish him harm. What’s important now is that she sticks with her story to avoid prison.

Her house felt empty. To be honest, it does not feel like her home at all. The place in Florence, that feels like home to her. She felt like she belonged there even under false names. She felt safe and loved and taken care of. She had beaten herself up over and over again about falling for the wrong person but it doesn’t take away the fact that she did fall for him. She was not drugged. She was consciously aware that she’s falling and she went with it.

“Oh, thank god!” Jean exclaimed when she came to her house.

Her sister wrapped her in her arms before letting herself in. Jean is a true force of nature and Stella’s glad to have her in her place. She immediately filled the void in her house by continuously ranting about her job, her lack of communication for a year, and how she had broken her promise before she left. Apparently, Davies and Jean had became friends and he informs her of her whereabouts during her time doing undercover. Jean knew the story she told everyone which is that she was taken by Hannibal when she returned to Bedelia’s house in Baltimore and he had been drugging her during their time in Florence. That she was found by Agent Crawford and Will Graham in her bedroom still hooked up with heroine and that she almost died.

“Can you please tell me that you’re thinking of going to another profession?” her sister pleaded.

If only she could…well, she can, but what will she do next? Being in law enforcement is all she knows. It’s what she’s good at.

“It’s my job, Jeanie. This is just one assignment”, she said.

“One assignment? How many times your life has been in danger? Do you remember your last case before this one? Your serial killer beat you up inside the police building. What will it take you to finally realize that this job will one day cost you your life?” Jean exclaimed.

It might. Stella had thought about that over and over again. She accepted that kind of death. In fact, she wanted that kind of death. Dying while doing her duty. It sounded so noble…far from the life she had lived. It will cover all the things she done, all the hearts she had broken. She will die a martyr and her name will be remembered.

The only downside to that is that her sister will be devastated. Stella cannot bear the thought of Jean being broken like that.

“Davies had told me that this will be the last time they will send me to do this kind of assignment. I am a Detective Superintendent. I should be in an office and that’s what’s going to happen from now on”, she said.

Jean is still crossed. She wants her sister safe. She wants her to live a safe and normal life like hers, find a man who will love her like Jakob loves her. Stella deserves it. She deserves someone who is willing to give up everything for her.

“It better be or I will give Davies a hard time the next time we see each other”, Jean threatened which made Stella laughed.

She was told how her sister was drugged during her time in Florence. She was abducted and forced to live as someone else there. She saw the medical records of Stella being admitted at the hospital after she almost died from overdose. In all the things she had heard, there is something that is off when she looks at her sister. She went through a horrible ordeal and she’s meant to be traumatized and angry about it but Stella is sad…melancholically sad. She looked like she just got her heart broken by a boyfriend. It is not the kind of reaction one should have after an abduction.

“Stella, talk to me”, Jean muttered.

Stella saw the look on her sister’s face. It appears as she can fool anyone but not Jean Milburn. She really is a good therapist.

“There is not much to tell, Jeanie. I was drugged”, she tried to evade the question.

“You know I know when you’re lying, Stella. It’s just us here and I won’t tell anyone”, she insisted.

She knows her sister won’t tell a soul. Jean always got her back but she’s too afraid to admit of the things she has done just to be with Hannibal. She let herself dwell on darkness. She dined with the beast. She slept with the beast.

“I did something horrible, Jeanie. I was never meant to but I don’t know what happened. After someone died, I requested to be out of the assignment but I knew that it was not over. I tried to protect myself when I came back and there he was…Hannibal”, Stella started.

“…the suspect?” Jean asked and Stella nodded.

“He was wanted from the FBI and I found him in my house in Baltimore. I knew he was there before I let him know of my presence. I could have called it in and have him arrested but I did not. He asked me to come with him to Paris, to escape. I said yes. I made him promise that he will stop killing people and he promised that he would try. We went to Paris, took different names and he kept his word. When we moved to Florence, he found us new identities and I knew he had taken them from some people but I still went with it. We lived as a married couple and despite of it sounding disgusting…I loved every minute of it”, her eyes dropped to the floor. “I was not drugged. I was aware and conscious of all my decisions. Hannibal was able to suppress his instinct to kill for months and everything was fine until something triggered him and it all started again”,

Stella grabbed her glass of wine and finished it.

“I tried my best to talk him out of it but he couldn’t stop, not anymore. I thought I was helping him get better. People died and I did nothing all because I couldn’t bring myself to turn him in”, she continued.

“You were gathering evidence on him, Stella”, Jean tried to rationalize what she’s hearing.

“No, Jeanie. I already got what I needed before he asked me to come with him to Paris. I was here in London and I got the samples for DNA testing. All I had to do was wait for the results. I did not need to come back or come with him to Paris. I knew the results while we were there and I kept it shut. I was not gathering evidence, Jeanie. I was there because I wanted to”, she explained.

Jean looked at her sister carefully.

“Stella, are you in love with Hannibal?” she finally asked the golden question.

She has been afraid for someone to ask that question because she’s terrified to say it out loud. She knows the answer. She knows it in her mind. Speaking the words will make it real, so real for her.

“Do you remember how I always tell you that the reason why I never wanted a relationship is because I believe all men are destined to hurt women?” Stella asked instead.

“I do”, Jean answered.

“I still believe that and I happen to fall for the possibly worst of all men”, Stella admitted.

That admission is a huge thing for Stella and Jean knows that. Her sister had never fallen hard for anyone before in her life. She always avoided it. She had lived a different lifestyle, a lifestyle that she soon had lived after Remi and stopped when she met Jakob. She knew Stella’s apprehension when it comes to love and she was the one who kept on urging her sister to keep her eyes and mind open to the possibility of settling down. It’s just, she wouldn’t have thought that when her sister finally decided to do just that, her eyes caught sight of a psychopathic killer.

“Oh, Stella…” she wrapped her arms around her sister. “We all make mistakes when it comes to love. I know I do…more times than I can count although I never fell for a killer before but I get you”, she added.

She felt her sister’s tears on her blouse. She’s crying. All of Jean’s prejudices about the stupidity of her sister’s actions during her time as undercover agent went out the window. It is true that she made bad choices, terrible ones, but it cost her too. She got burned the one time she allowed herself to fall in love and now, she has to live with the fact that she can never be with the man she loves because of who he is. She can never admit or tell to anyone about him because that would put her in jail. She has to lie and make him appear as though he had hurt her to everyone to protect herself when in fact, he did nothing of the sort. Stella had fallen in love and now, she’s hurting.

“It’s going to be alright, Stella. It will hurt for some time and it may make you feel like you don’t want to get out of bed in the morning but you need to push through it and keep on living. Then, one day, you will be surprised that you’re able to get through it without you even knowing it”, Jean said.

Stella pulled back and looked at her with a small smile on her face.

“You’re too good for me, Jeanie. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you”, she muttered.

\-------------------------------

She followed her sister’s advice. She pushed through despite breathing feels like dying. She misses him. She misses the sound of his fingers playing the piano. She misses the smell of breakfast he’s making in the morning. She misses his touch, his words, his everything.

Back in the office, she had earned a different level of respect from her peers. They let her know how they can never pull what she did during her assignment. They congratulated her and rained compliments on her. She smiled and said thank you to all of them but she knew deep down, she does not deserve it. She had killed a man. She became an accessory to Hannibal’s crimes. She protected him until the end. In all forms, she is as guilty as he is…just as twisted like what Neal Frank told her. She gets that now. She knows that she has the same capability for violence just like Hannibal. She can go through lengths and it may affect her at first but she knows how quickly she can recover from it. She can be as dark and she can put up a face that everyone will believe. She’s doing it now.

In all the ways, she got out of her time as Bedelia Du Maurier but kept her with her. There were times when she looked at the mirror and see herself as Bedelia. She even went as far as changing her entire wardrobe. Wearing her former work clothes doesn’t feel right to her anymore. Being Stella Gibson does not feel right to her anymore. The clothes still fit but it felt like they don’t belong to her so she threw them away and bought the type of clothes Bedelia will choose. It turned heads at the office. Stella has always been an eye catcher, but she just took it to another level. People always stopped whenever she passes by. She fixes her hair the way Bedelia does. She remodeled the interior of her house the way Bedelia would. Soon enough, she even moves like her. 

Other people noticed but they did not say a word. They just thought she’s reinventing herself. She’s no longer doing field work. It suits her to be in the office and she’s dressed up for it. Stella has become Bedelia in all forms except for the accent. Her choice of music, choice of words…even her appetite. In moving on, Stella let herself fell down the drain and allowed Bedelia to come out. Stella does not know how to survive a broken heart. Bedelia can. 

Jean may have noticed the changes but she did not say anything. She’s just relieved that her sister is not confining herself in her house like what she normally does. It made her uncomfortable though to see her act so differently. Even the way she gazes at them gives her chills. Her eyes are so calculating, like she’s constantly studying them. Jakob had asked her to talk to Stella about it but she refused. She does not want to push her sister away and risk losing her. She trusts that Stella will talk one day.

When Stella returned to her house after a lovely dinner with Jean and her family, she noticed that someone else is present with her. Her steps are slow and careful, her hand on her gun. She’s ready and in that moment, Stella had resurfaced.

“What a lovely home…” Hannibal greeted when she found him in her kitchen.

“Hannibal, what are you doing here?” she asked.

“I came here to visit you, of course, Bedelia…or should I call you Stella?” he answered then asked her back.


	16. Two Days

The sound of her name coming from his lips left her frozen. It’s not like it’s the first time he had uttered it. Back in Paris, she had used the same name under a false identity but Hannibal kept calling her Bedelia when they were alone. They are not alone and he is calling her by her true name. It only means one thing. He knows. He knows who she truly is. How he found out? It's beyond her. He may never tell her. Stella knows how much Hannibal values trusts and loyalty. He prides on good behavior, class and manners. She had fooled him and betrayed him from the start. If he’s there to kill her, he would have all the reason in the world to do so.

He realized her inability to talk or react. He caught her off guard. His eyes studied her from head to toe. His eyes are seeing Bedelia but he knows more than that now. 

“So, tell me, Ms. Gibson…how you did you become Bedelia Du Maurier?” he asked.

He had invited her to sit across from him on her dinner table like they’re on some formal meeting. She is glad to see that he does not hold any sharp objects. At least, he has the intention of hearing what she has to say rather than killing her outright.

“I was assigned to a case of a missing person by the name of Mr. Hughes. He was your patient before he went missing. You got caught in our radar when the police had stopped doing something and your connection with the FBI was noted. The Met wanted to make sure if there’s an involvement in your part so I was sent to go undercover”, she answered.

He hummed at that.

“The Met thought about having you pose as a fellow psychiatrist. Did they give you notes on how to do that?” he followed up.

“No. It was my idea”, he raised an eyebrow. “I studied your profile a dozen of times and I realized you will not let anyone in unless there’s somewhat distinguished, professional. I went to sit in numerous sessions to prepare myself, that and remembering what I learned in college when I took psychology and anthropology classes”, she answered.

Her cold demeanor is shining but her eyes are betraying her. Despite the obvious fact that he might be dangerous to be around right now, she’s glad to see him. 

“You’re very good at it. I learned what you had staged in order to escape Jack Crawford’s and Will Graham’s keen eyes. It was very impressive and I thought, how were you be able to come with that so I did more digging. Bedelia Du Maurier alone couldn’t pull it off without breaking. Stella Gibson, on the other hand, is another thing. Imagine my surprise when I learned you are a Detective Superintendent. Now, that is a surprise”, he exclaimed.

Stella braced herself. It could come anytime soon like how he smashed Dimmond’s head when he wasn’t expecting it.

“You got me completely and I did not see it coming”, he added.

Stella shot him a glare so sharp, he felt it.

“Don’t pretend I was the only one playing this game, Hannibal. You had the intention of deception from the start as well. You approached me in that conference with the hope that I might interest you and I did. You sat with me in that café multiple times to get a grasp of my personality, my responses. You referred Neal Frank to me, damaged as he was. He filled my head with ideas of his violence, fed me with all your crap. I may have done the act but you’re as guilty as I was. You wanted it to happen. You had me make it happen”, she exclaimed.

That same fire radiating from her cold exterior got him so excited. She even saw his eyes flickered. 

“Ms. Gibson, I think you made a mistake in choosing your profession. I believe you will be great in the psychiatry field”, he mentioned.

“Hannibal, you did not come here to compliment me in my success in my assignment to deceive you. You know the truth. Why are you here?” it’s her turn to ask.

“I want to know the whole truth, Stella”, he answered letting her name rolled off his tongue.

She likes the sound of her name on his lips as much as she fears it.

“What truth?” she asked.

“Was it all just for show?” she swallowed, “I understood the introduction, the background information, and probably our sessions were all pretense but after that…our time in hiding. I want to know was that ever real or it’s all part of your game?” he answered then asked.

Her armor had been shattered. She almost expected a full raging Hannibal when she was imagining him finding out of her true identity. It’s not what’s happening. It’s the complete opposite.

“It was not part of my cover to run with you to another continent, Hannibal. It was not part of my cover to take false names and be your false wife, or sit with you at dinner table, have wines at night or be with you on bed. It was not part of any game and it was not something I should have done”, she answered.

He got up and walked around the table to close to her. It got her all nervous and she got back on her feet as well.

“Why did you do it?” he asked again as he continued walking while she kept on stepping backwards.

“I don’t know”, she lied.

“I think you do, Stella”, he concluded.

Her back hits the wall and she got trapped between it and Hannibal’s body. She can smell his natural scent and immediately put her body on fire. It’s been so long since she got this close to him and she missed it. Her heart beats rapidly, he can hear it.

“What do you want me to say, Hannibal?” she asked in whisper.

His breath grazing her skin.

“I want you to tell me what you’ve been fearing to let anyone else know”, he answered.

She had told Jean about it but not the full extent of what she feels for him.

“I did it because…I can’t bring myself to be far away from you”, her eyes met his, “You’re all I can think about and the thought of them taking you away, locking you up made me sicker than watching you kill someone. I would rather follow you to another country despite knowing the consequences of my choice because…” their faces almost touch, “…I love you, Hannibal. I love you and that love will be the death of me”, she said.

His lips assaulted hers and she welcomed it. To hell with moving on, this is where she wanted to be. She already had a taste of what life would have been without Hannibal and she hates every second of it. She cannot imagine waking up in the morning without smelling breakfast he’s making. All she wants is to be with him now and she does not care if she will join him to the depths of hell.

Being wrapped around Hannibal’s arms on her bed feels just right. She does not want to be anywhere else. All she wants is him and him alone. If someone would ask her before if she’s willing to drop everything for a man, she would roll around her eyes and laughed. Now, the answer is yes. She will drop everything for Hannibal, what little of life she has, her career. She will follow him everywhere. Sacrificing her relationship with Jean will definitely pain her but Hannibal is worth it.

“I can feel you thinking, Stella”, he murmured.

“I’m sorry. I was just wondering what will happen now”, she explained.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“You’re a wanted man, Hannibal, not only in Baltimore but also here in London. We cannot hide in here forever”, she answered.

He hummed in agreement.

“I suppose we cannot do that but for now, I am content with just holding you right here if you don’t mind”, he said.

Her heart fluttered with his admission. He has changed. She can feel it. She does not want to ask if he had killed anyone during their time apart but it feels like he’s been in misery just like she did. 

“I don’t mind. I like being held by you”, she replied.

\-----------------------------

The next day, she woke up alone on her bed. For a second, she thought that the events last night were just all a dream, that they weren’t real. She would have settled for that when she smelled the food coming from downstairs. The butter gave it away. It’s him. It’s all real.

Stella came down her kitchen and saw him making breakfast for her. The table has been set and he had made her a coffee. She took a moment to appreciate what’s happening in front of her. She’s been dreaming of it since they part ways in Florence and it’s finally coming true.

“Good morning, detective”, he greeted with a playful smirk.

It made her chuckled the way he played with her title. It turns out he likes her being a cop.

“Good morning. It smells delicious”, she greeted back.

They both sat in peace and ate their breakfast like how they used to in Florence. They talked about what happened after they last saw each other. He told her the places he visited while evading authorities and Mason Verger trying to hunt him down. He had expressed his compliments about her whole show of heroine and how she fooled Jack Crawford and Will Graham.

“That was dangerous”, he mentioned.

“It’s not like you had trouble with danger before at all”, she retorted.

“I have trouble with it if you’re involved”, he said.

She looked at him with a frown.

“It is true that I played with you with Neal Frank. I wanted to know how far you can go with certain things but after I saw you on that floor, shaking. It did not feel satisfying as I hoped it would be. I did not get any sense of fulfillment for my hand work. I felt bad. I wished I could take it back, spare you from the nightmares, but it was all too late. That’s why I offered you my help. I would have still helped you even if you decline. When you left and decided to ‘retire’, I couldn’t bear the thought of you losing your career because of what I did so I resisted and volunteered to be your patient”,

She was left speechless once again.

“After that, I vowed to always protect you. So, it bothered me what you did in Florence. You almost died and if Jack Crawford and Will Graham arrived there minutes later, you would have been dead”, he added.

Stella never viewed it as that. She thought it was all part of his game, the offering of help, the insistence of becoming her patient. She never knew there were more to it.

“I am still alive, Hannibal”, she muttered.

“Yes, and I would like you to keep it that way”, he replied.

She smiled. She likes his protective side.

“You can rest assure that I have no intention of putting heroine in my bloodstream any time soon”, she joked and he chuckled.

“That is very good to hear”, he replied with a laugh.

Stella called in sick that day and the day after that to spend time with Hannibal. They just cuddled inside her house, watched movies, listened to music, drank wine, ate home cooked meals he prepared, talked for hours, and made love whenever they can. It was perfect two days of her life. They were completely at peace. But even her knows that nothing lasts forever. She is just waiting for the other shoe to drop and boy, did it drop so quickly…

“What is it?” she asked when Hannibal got off the phone.

“We have to go”, he said.

“What? Where? What happened?” she asked.

“They found me. I got a plan, a way out for the both of us”, he answered. Hannibal went to her and cupped her face with both of his hands. “I will never let anything happen to you, Stella, and I don’t care whatever your name is. I know it was not all just a game for you even back then. I know it was real and I want you to know that it was the same for me. You made me become a man I never thought I can possibly be…a human. You love me despite knowing what I am and I love you for who you are inside and not for who you present yourself to be. I love you, Stella, Bedelia…or Lydia. Now, trust me”, he finished off with a kiss and she nodded.


	17. Jumping Off the Cliff with a Blindfold

The panic sent by the urgency of his words is overpowering Stella. Everything has been fine. They were fine. It’s like life has let her get a taste of what happiness feels like so it can take it away the next day. It was cruel, too cruel. She found herself packing. She just threw in whatever, not really caring what’s in her suitcase. She stole quick glances over to Hannibal and he’s relatively calm, at peace. She does not understand it. Why isn’t he tense? She knows he got incredible amount of resolve but when situation like this arrives, he’s never that calm.

“I’m ready”, she announced.

He smiled at her and took her hand. He does not have any suitcase on him. She just realized that now. He arrived at her house with just a small bag and that was it. He did not even bring it with him now. 

“Hannibal, what are we doing?” she asked, feeling so nervous of what they’re about to do.

“We are freeing ourselves, Stella”, he simply answered.

He drove like he memorized the streets of London by heart. She remained quiet. Her heart is pounding hard in her chest, it is getting difficult for her to breathe. Street by street, things started to blur for Stella. She knows she’s willing to go anywhere with him, ready to change her life for him but she needs to know what his plans are. She just can’t jump on a cliff with blindfold because she’s scared that she will be alone going off of it and he would be somewhere else.

They stopped by a dock where a yacht is waiting for them. Is this how Hannibal got in London? She did not ask. He had been looking at her like she’s going to disappear from him since they got in the car. Something is not quite right and she can feel it with every fiber in her body. So when she heard another man’s voice yelling behind them, she knew things are about to go down. What she did not expect is Hannibal yanking her back to his body, wrapped his arm around her neck and point a gun to her head.

Everything happened so fast. The next thing she knows, Will Graham and Jack Crawford are standing in front of them. Both men got their guns aimed at Hannibal. She saw the pity and concern in Jack Crawford’s eyes when he saw her. What is going on? She wanted to ask Hannibal a million question like why he’s holding her like this? He tightened his arm around her neck that she can barely breathe.

“Let her go, Dr. Lecter”, Jack said.

“I think you should know that I don’t answer to you or to anyone”, Hannibal said with the same coldness she recognized from some time ago.

“This is not going to end well for you, Hannibal, and you know it”, Will said.

Stella tried her best to focus her mind. Her own trauma of being incapacitated by a man is creeping up on her. She doesn’t like being hold like that. 

“Time will tell, Mr. Graham. Time will tell”, he replied.

Will looked at her as she struggles to breathe. She is going to pass out any time soon and he can see it. Hannibal has no intention of loosening up his grip on her. Suddenly, Will raised his hands in the air.

“Let her go and let’s settle this like a man, Hannibal. It’s the only way this is going to be over”, Will challenged him.

Jack frowned at his friend but then he realized what he’s trying to do. He’s trying to get Stella out of his grip. He soon copied him and put down his gun and kicked it away. Slowly, Hannibal loosened his arm around Stella and she dropped on the ground, coughing, and gasping for air. What just happened? A minute ago, he was looking at her like she’s the only woman in the world, like he never wanted to let her go and then he almost strangled her to death.

She heard grunting and groaning. She even heard some bones cracking. Soon, she smelled a faint smell of blood. When her vision adjusted, she saw the three men fighting with their bare hands. It’s unclear how Hannibal can overpower two men at once but he’s doing it. Jack Crawford is already down. He looked like Hannibal has broken his leg. Now, he and Will are fighting to death with each other. Hannibal looked amused with it while Will is determined to take him down, put an end to his crimes, and bring justice to his victims. 

Stella’s stomach turned. Somehow, she can already predict the things that are about to happen before they do. She can anticipate their reactions the same way she used to do when she’s pretending to be a psychiatrist only now, she’s not predicting behaviors. She’s predicting actions. Will is too determined to get Hannibal. He’s too aggressive for his own good and Hannibal knows that. He is, in fact, taking advantage of it. She can see it in his smile. He is having a blast with Will’s frustrations and desperation. 

What Will only wants is to bring him to justice, to make him answer for his crimes. She knows there is an obsession with Will and the tendency to go overboard but he also has the strength to see past that and keep a straight head. He has a straight head now and he wants to do his job and put Hannibal in prison and throw away the key.

Hannibal is not going down without a fight and he definitely wouldn’t want anyone putting him behind bars. That’s why he’s fighting Will. He could have just shoot him instead but Hannibal being Hannibal, there would be no fun in that. 

Stella tried to come to terms with the fact that it lies on her. Jack is looking at her from the ground thinking the same thing. She has to do something. She has to pick a side. If she chooses Hannibal, she’s going to have to kill Will Graham and Jack Crawford, both men who were only trying to do their jobs, a job she should have done herself back then. If she chooses to do the right thing, she will lose the love of her life.

The gun is right beside her. It’s Jack Crawford’s gun, the one he kicked away earlier. It’s loaded for sure, ready to fire. The question is, fire to whom?

She looked at Hannibal, wishing he would just stop. Just incapacitate Will and take her away so they can be together like what they wanted. She can only wish for so much and it has been so much. Hannibal is not going to stop with just breaking Will’s leg. It’s in his eyes. He is going to kill Will and then Jack Crawford. It’s not that he needs to because they always come after him. It’s because he wants to, he desires to do so. They are his biggest enemies and it would be a victory to do so. Is her happiness worth two lives of men who are trying to fulfill their duties in the name of justice? When did she become so selfish?

\-----------------------------

DECEMBER 1998

Stella stood in the middle of the living room. She just told her mother about her choice of joining the Metropolitan Police while her sister Jean sat at the edge of the couch, scared for her twin sister.

“The Police? Are you out of your mind, Stella?” their mother exclaimed. “I did not let you drown in college and take those degrees so you can waste them being a cop!” she added.

Stella kept her calm and faced her mother.

“They will not go to waste. They will be used to catch bad people who hurt others”, she simply said.

Their mother scoffed.

“This is not about playing a hero, Stella. This is about you throwing your life away!” she expressed.

Jean got up and took her sister’s side.

“Mom, just hear her out. She’s not choosing this path for the kicks of wearing a uniform. In fact, she hates the uniform. I know you wouldn’t like it but you have to open your ears and your heart and truly listen. Isn’t that what you always taught us?” Jean intervened.

Her coolness and wise words helped calmed down their mother.

“Very well…give me a very good reason why I should permit you to throw your life away, Stella”, she said.

Stella relaxes and smiles at her mother.

“…because I can’t just sit around and wished for the world to be better, to be a safer place knowing that I can do something to help. I know I wouldn’t be enough to change the world but I can make a difference here. I know I can in my own ways. If I will be able to prevent one man from hurting his wife or his workmate, that wouldn’t be throwing my life away, Mom, because that wife or workmate will be able to come home safe and sleep in peace because I was able to help them. That’s all I want. I want to bring those bad people to justice and make them pay for their crimes”, she answered with full confidence.

\-----------------------------

PRESENT DAY

Did the apple fall from the tree?

It was her sworn duty to uphold. She already allowed herself to be swayed to the wrong path and it already cost lives. She cannot keep on staying blind, clinging to a blind hope that Hannibal will soon change and be the man she wished him to be. She knows he’s capable, but his desires always get in the way of that and he keeps allowing them to.

No more…

People don’t have to keep on dying. She swore to uphold the law, to protect innocent people and bring bad ones to justice to make them pay for their crimes. She broke that oath couple of times but it’s enough. It’s more than enough. If she turned her back now, there will be no coming back now. There will be no excuse. Hannibal is not playing mind games with her anymore. He did not stick an ice pick to a man’s head for her to pull out. He did not smash someone’s head to ask her if she wants to observe or to participate. This will be her letting two men die when there’s something she can do. It would be like sitting around wishing for peace knowing she has the ability to bring forth the peace.

Hannibal grabbed Will by his neck with both of his hands.

“Hannibal!” she called out with a gun pointed to the man she loves. “Please…stop…” she pleaded as tears fell from her eyes.

The desire to quench his thirst for Will’s death is there but at the same time, she can see the man she fell in love with, the man who cares for her, who protects her. He’s still there but he’s trapped by the beast who will never let him win.

“You’re going to have to pull that trigger if you truly want me to stop now, Stella”, he said.

She ignored the shocked eyes of Will and Jack when he called her with her real name. It was not a challenge for her. It was not a game he’s playing, testing her waters, what she’s capable of doing. He’s telling her what to do. He’s telling her what he wants her to do. He’s asking her to shoot him.

“This is the plan…” his words now echoing in her brain. This is what he meant by that. “…your way out, to free yourself”, she realized.

His eyes softened and a smile formed upon his lips.

“…and yours”, more tears escaped her eyes, “I always knew you’re the smartest person in the room”, he teased.

How do you kill the person you love? Do you say you love them first before pulling the trigger or do you say it afterwards? Do you apologize for it if it’s something they want themselves? Should you feel regret or guilt?

Hannibal’s smile faded from his face. His eyes are no more soft and tender. The beast is back and it’s going to break Will’s neck. 

“I’m sorry”, she whispered.

The gunshot was all they’ve heard before Hannibal fell on the ground but for Stella, it has been deadly silent. She did not hear the gun at all. Everything went slow in her eyes. She watched the bullet entered his forehead, his eyes went wide and still, the blood dripped down his face before he slowly went down. After that, sounds came back to her. It must have been Jack Crawford calling her name or Bedelia’s name, she’s not sure, because his voice is too far.

It did not take long for Will to come to her but she couldn’t move a muscle let alone take her eyes off of Hannibal’s body. Will blocked her view and took the gun from her hand. Once again, the sound is fading away from her ears and she can see Will mouthing something but she cannot make any of it. The lights slowly went dim until everything turns dark and her last thought is:

I love you, Hannibal…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is harder than i thought it would be. My chest is literally heavy and tightening while i was writing this but i hope it turns out okay. It seemed fitting especially for Stella's personality. Love may have blinded her but she's still her own person at the end of the day who took an oath to serve and protect. Let me know what you think with this!


	18. His Last Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch out for a reveal...

Hospital…Stella is beginning to hate hospitals. She hates it more when it was her lying on the hospital bed. The drugs are still in her system and it’s making her weak. How did she get there? Forcing herself to remember what brought her there drains what’s left of her energy so she gave up. She can do that when she got her strength back.

Few moments past, she heard voices. She must have dozed off again because the next thing she saw is Jack Crawford sitting next to her. She did not have to push herself to remember. Everything naturally came back to her upon seeing his face. He got a cast on his leg and he got bruises and cuts all over, a result of what took place before they got in the hospital.

“How’s the leg?” she asked.

He scoffed and smiled.

“It’s going to be fine”, he answered and gave her a smirk. “So, what should I call you? Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier or Detective Superintendent Stella Gibson?” he asked.

She smiled a little.

“Stella is just fine”, she answered and tried to adjust her position. “How did you find out?” she asked him back.

“Your boss Davies is outside. When the police came, they recognized you and called him”,

She must be in for a lecture later. What is she going to tell him? She harbored a wanted criminal in her house for two days?

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re a cop as well? That you’re undercover? I could have helped you”, he asked.

It occurred to her before when they first met. She had a sense that Jack is a straight cop and not in league with Hannibal but that’s not part of her orders. Then again, how many instructions did she break for Hannibal?

“Hannibal got connections with the FBI. I was told to keep it private since we don’t have clearance from your country. I had to follow orders”, she answered.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I commend you for your work. You put your life at risk to get Dr. Lecter and it’s finally over”, he said.

She finally heard that gunshot that went silent before in her ears. It made her shut her eyes for a few seconds before regaining control of herself.

“Will Graham?” she asked.

“He’s resting. He’s more beaten up than I am but thanks to you, he’s alive. Dr. Lecter would have killed him if it were not for you so thank you, Stella”, he answered.

…and now Hannibal is dead because of her. How is she supposed to feel right now?

Minutes later, Davies came in her room with a worried look on his face. He finished her paperwork for her at the hospital since he knows her details.

“You could have called”, he muttered.

“I didn’t have the time. He showed up and almost strangled me to death”, she said.

She excluded the fact that he stayed with her for two days and those were the best days of her life. It is easy to believe since she got two witnesses who seen him strangled her with his arm and her neck is still bruised.

“What happened, Stella?” he asked.

She got time to compose her story while she’s talking with Jack Crawford. She’s not about to tell him that she’s about to run off with Hannibal. No. Hannibal told her that it’s going to be their way out, not just his. It’s also the same for her.

“He found out who I am, my real name, identity and went to my house. He confronted me about it and made me pack my clothes. I did not know where he was planning on taking me but Mr. Graham and Agent Crawford arrived just in time and I shot Dr. Lecter”, she answered with half-truths…like what she used to do.

He sighed. 

“I should have protected you better. I knew this is going to happen, that one way he will discover who you really are, and your life will be in danger. I am so sorry, Stella. It is my fault”, he apologized.

She wanted to tell him that it’s not. It’s all on her but that will prolong everything and her way out will close.

“It’s alright, George. I am fine”, she said, addressing him by his first name.

He smiled at her in appreciation. She knows it will be in his conscience what happened but she cannot help him with it. She got so much going on to help him feel better.

The next day, Stella was discharged from the hospital but before leaving she decided to see Will who is still recovering from his injuries. Jack Crawford is not in his room so that gives them some privacy.

“Dr. Du Maurier…oh, no. Detective Gibson”, he said when he saw her.

“Just Stella, Mr. Graham”, she said and went to him. “How are you feeling?” she asked.

“I’ve been better”, he answered with a smile.

She wished she can say the same or think that she will get better. She felt numb somehow.

“I want to see you before I leave, make sure you’re okay”, she explained.

“You don’t have to pretend in front of me, you know. I can see it”, he suddenly said.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“It’s my job, Stella. I read people. I know he did not come here to hurt you. He would never hurt you. I get that now. I always wondered how you were able to survive all those months with him in Florence. Now I know. It must have been hard for you to pull that trigger”, he answered.

Will is a profiler, not by profession, but by nature. She did not spend enough time with him to let him study her but that night at the dock, he was able to get his answers. He saw it in her eyes. He saw the pain of the decision she made.

“We all have to make choices. I already made too many wrong ones and it cost a lot of lives. It has to stop at some point”, she said.

He smiled at her.

“That’s the detective in you talking. I want to hear Stella’s side about this. I want to know what you really feel”, he said.

He is not taunting her or mocking her. After all, they’ve both been caught up in hurricane that was Hannibal. In a way, they have that understanding, that connection.

“I feel like the worst person in the world. Other than that, I don’t feel anything else. Maybe it’s not hitting me yet but I know it will and I have to be away from people when that happened because I will be impossible to be around with when that time comes”, she revealed.

Will understood all of that. He’s been there. He’s been impossible to be around back then. 

“I wish we could have met under different circumstances, Stella. I think we would be friends”, he said and he meant every word.

That put a smile on her lips even just briefly.

“I wish for the same thing too, Mr. Graham”, she looked at her watch and then back to him. “You take care of yourself, Mr. Graham and I don’t just mean physically. We both know how dangerous doubling can be and make sure you won’t fall in deep when you do”, she said.

“I think I know that now. Thank you, Stella”, he said.

“Goodbye, Mr. Graham. Please send my regards to Agent Crawford”, she replied.

On her way out, she picked up her file from the front desk and went to her empty, sad home.

\---------------------------------

“I’m fine, Jeanie”, she said on the phone.

Jean had heard what happened through Davies and now, on the verge of panic, insisting that she come stay to her place with Otis and Jakob and their daughter.

“Fine? The man came to your house and brought you to a dock and then tried to strangle you”, Jean exclaimed.

Stella sighed.

“It’s not like that, Jeanie”, she muttered.

She is just tired. She wants a bit of silence and space to ponder the choices she had made along the way of her very screwed up life.

“What are you talking about?” Jean asked.

“I will tell you all about it soon, Jeanie. Right now, I just want to crash the bed and get some sleep. I’m still all drugged up”, Stella answered.

She heard her sister sighed on the other end of the line.

“Alright, but you promise that you will tell me everything”, Jean said.

“I promise”, she said and then hung up.

Hannibal only stayed with her for two days and yet she can feel his absence while looking at her house. In those two days, he brought so much that she never thought she will be able to experience, a sense of stability…a normal life. Normal is not the word to use in describing Hannibal and she knows that. That’s why she had been waiting for the other shoe to drop when he arrived. She knew it won’t last no matter how much she hoped.

Stella stared at the bottle of wine for a few good three minutes before opening her medical file. Her doctor instructed her specifically to open it when she gets home. She wonders why but did not argue. She does not have the energy to do so anyway.

Her breath almost came to full stop when her eyes saw what’s on her file. She shook her head, trying to deny what’s written on it. It could be a glitch. Her doctor got it wrong but her doctor never got it wrong. She knows her. She’s very good at her job.

Something rambled in her stomach which forced her to run to her bathroom and poured her guts out down the toilet bowl. It’s all too far fetch to be real. Well, not at all far fetch. Stella went upstairs to change her clothes and hope that it will make her feel a little better to get out of the ones she was wearing. While going through her clothes, she noticed a small envelope underneath her lampshade at the nightstand. It was not there before because she would surely notice. She abandoned searching for clothes to wear and went to her nightstand to take a look at the envelope.

'To my dearest, Stella…'

Her heart skipped a beat. She recognized the handwriting on it. It’s Hannibal’s. There is no doubt about it because she had read notes he had written before in Baltimore. It’s imprinted in her brain down to his signature. Her hands started to shake. When did he left that there? She opened the envelope and decided to read the letter:

\--------------------------------

Il mio amore,

By the time you read this, I will be long gone, not in a sense of what you might think. I won’t be traveling places anymore or continue hiding from authorities. During our time apart, I came to realize that all I did in the past and the things I will continue to do in the future will always come back to haunt me. There are people who will not stop until they get to me whether their intentions are either to make me answer for my crimes or to end my life completely.

From the moment I laid eyes on you in that conference, I knew you’re someone different. You stood out even though you tried your best not to. The way your eyes swayed from left to right, analyzing everyone in the room got me curious about you. When I talked to you, I was pulled immediately by your intellect before your appearance. I couldn’t get enough so I followed you and followed you. I contented with our afternoon coffee meetings. You’re so closed off, like a brick wall that nothing will ever penetrate so I decided to do something about it which later on, I regretted. I caused you pain. When you left, I felt your absence immediately and I did not know how to explain its effect on me. All I knew was that I had to see you again so I insisted to be your patient. 

You filled me with so much valuable wisdom and thoughts. I poured my emotions and you helped with no judgments. That’s why when you decided to end it, I was hurt. You left again. I did not understand why you would do such thing when everything was working out just fine for us. I wanted to find you, to convince you to stay but what I discovered was something else entirely. You weren’t true to your words or at least true to who you say you were.

Yes, Stella. I had known who you truly are before we flew to Europe. Upon my discovery, things started to make sense to me. I understood your closed, high, thick walls. I understood your mystery. Then, you came back. You had your gun pointed at me. I was thinking that if you decided to go down that road, I wouldn’t have any choice but to fight back but you did not pull the trigger. You apologized instead. You don’t have any intention to hurt me and I saw your belief that I have the same intention and you were right. I was never going to tell you about my plans to escape but you told me Agent Crawford followed you to London to bring you back, I just knew I had to take you with me and so I asked and you agreed.

I chose your real name for our first identity in Paris because I wanted to hear myself calling you with it and I fell in love with you real name right away. Your job was not to protect me and yet you did so anyway. I found myself living to please you, make you feel safe, taken care of, and happy. When we moved to Florence, I learned to live a normal man again. You kept me occupied, interested, wondering, hungry. You listened to my random rants about life and offered your intellectual responses which I found stimulating. I realized that I am not intrigued about you anymore. I am already falling in love with you. I have been falling for you for a while. The night you finally let me touch you, it was the most satiating and fulfilling thing I have ever experienced, and I couldn’t get enough.

Forgive me for not being able to be content. It was not your problem. It was mine. It has always been mine. You tried to talk me out of it, to keep the life we had but I let myself be drawn back to my old habits and it cost us, us. It cost me you. I let pulled you down with me, let you see my worst. I know that now what I did was wrong. You do not deserve to be hurt like that and I did hurt you. I am so sorry, my love.

When I heard of what you did to get out of the mess I pulled you in, I wanted to get back to you but there were things I had to take care of, things you will frown upon and once I realized that, how much I enjoyed those things, I knew that even coming home to you, it will never end for I will never end.

I shouldn’t have come back. I should have left you alone so you can continue living your life as Stella but I had to see you. I had to see you and be with you before it all ends. I had to let you know that I know who you are and I still love you.

I hope you will not stay angry with me and my decision to put you in this situation but it is the only for us both, for me to finally stop and be free of this beast inside of me and for you to finally stop forcing yourself to live a double life and betraying your oath. Forgive me for wanting it to be you because I would rather die in your hands than the others. It would be a mercy coming from you, a gift that I would gladly welcome. I would only accept death if it’s coming from you.

So, I wouldn’t be around indeed when you read this letter. I knew you will not go along with the plan if I tell you this right away so I composed this letter as best as I could. I may have put much to it than this but time is of the essence and I chose to spend my remaining time in your arms than writing this.

I love you Stella. I love you more than I can express and thank you for unlocking the cage to which I was imprisoned for most of my life. You had been my salvation and I promise to always look after you even from what’s beyond life.

-Hannibal.

\----------------------------

Stella clutched the letter to her chest, crumpling it in the process as her tears fell heavily from her eyes. 

“You fucking bastard…” she gasped, “I’m pregnant…” she finally admitted.


	19. Announcement

Pregnant…Stella still could not wrap her head around it. It’s been a week since she found out about it. It’s been a week since she had shot the man she loved. Now, she’s carrying his child and she’s alone. What would she say when people asked? Perhaps, it wouldn’t come as a surprise since it’s not secret how she lives her life before Hannibal. It could be anyone’s child. Other people can think that. She knows better. She knows it’s Hannibal’s. 

How is she going to be a mother? She is a detective. Her life alone is not ideal set up for a kid. She does not have a partner. Plus, she killed the father of her child. How is she going to tell that to her kid when it grows up and started asking questions? The more she thinks about it, the more she gets terrified. It takes a lot to scare her and the life inside her is not even fully formed yet but it’s already scaring the hell out of her. She has no idea what to do. She does not know how to handle children. Otis is a great kid and she had seen him as a baby but she was not the one who took care of him. It’s always Jean. Her sister is the natural one when it comes to children. She’s not it.

Jean…

That’s a thought. She can ask her. She will know what to say to her. She can give her advice. Hell, she can give her therapy because god knows she needs that right now. Stella has not told anyone about the pregnancy yet and she instructed her doctor not to tell anyone about it. That’s why her doctor hid the result of the test and handed it only to her. She knows how her patient function and if she put it on her chart, Stella will flip out. Jean is her chance. She’s the only one she can turn to if she wants to keep her head in the right place.

\-------------------------------

MILBURN’S RESIDENCE

Jean is about to head out to attend a school meeting with other parents in Otis’ school when someone knocked on her door. A frown appeared on her face as she checked her watch. She is not expecting any patients for the whole morning. Jakob has taken their daughter to the park to give her time to get ready.

“One moment!” she yelled and then went to answer the door. “Stella? I did not know you’re coming. Please, come in”, she said when she saw her sister at the porch.

Stella did and put down her bag. She felt an instant relief when she came inside the house of her sister. It always has that vibe which makes her feel at home.

“Are you heading out?” she asked Jean when she noticed her coat and purse.

“I was. There’s this meeting at Otis’ school”, Jean answered.

“Oh…you should go then. Don’t let me keep you”, Stella muttered sadly.

Jean can see right through her despite her attempt to put up a wall in front of her sister. It’s one of her gift or maybe it’s a twin thing. She just knows.

“No. It’s just silly meeting with other parents. It bores me to be honest. I can just call in and we can talk. Do you want some tea?” Jean offered with a smile.

It made Stella smile too, one of Jean’s effect.

“Tea would be lovely”, she accepted.

\------------------------------

After Jean had called the school to informed them that she won’t be able to make it, she and Stella settled by the balcony so they can talk with a nice view and fresh air. God knows her sister needs it. She’s been through a lot and she wants to make it easier for her as much as possible. She can’t help but notice the way her eyes swift from left to right, like she’s figuring something out. There is something she wants to tell her, needs to tell her, but seems like she does not know how.

“Stella, I’m all ears”, she said as an encouragement.

Stella’s life has never been an open book even to Jean. She made sure of that. She likes the secrecy, the discreteness of her actions. For the first time in her life, Stella wants to let it all out. She wants to be free from the walls she built around her which in time turned out to be a prison cell she created for herself. She imprisoned herself on her own volition and she does not know how to get out.

“I killed him”, she muttered.

“Davies told me. It was self-defense, Stella. You protected yourself along with those two American agents”, Jean said.

“No, Jeanie. It was not self-defense. Hannibal planned it all before coming to see me. It was his way out”, Stella clarified.

It confused her sister.

“I don’t understand. I thought he came to your house to kidnap you”, Jean said.

“He did not. He came to see me, to spend time with me”, Jean sighed. She recalled how her sister confessed to her about her feelings for Hannibal. “We were together for two days and it’s the best two days of my life. When he asked me to come with him to run away, start over somewhere, I said yes. I wanted to go. I did not care where. All I want is to be there with him. I was ready to drop everything. He kept telling me that it would the way out for both of us. He knew they’re coming for him. He knew. It did not surprise him when Mr. Graham and Agent Crawford appeared at the dock like he suspected they would be there”, Stella explained.

“He strangled you”, Jean reminded her.

“It was for show. I know that now. He did that to force Will Graham and Agent Crawford to put down their weapons and fight him like a man and they did. He knew he would be able to overpower them and he knew it would be up to me”, Stella clarified.

“He wanted you to be the one to do it”, Jean guessed.

“Yes. He couldn’t help his impulses and he knew we would never be free because of it. His death would be his way out and me killing him would be mine, clearing my name, saving me in a professional sense. That was his plan from the moment he came to my house”, Stella confirmed.

Jean sighed. It must have been toughed for her sister. Stella rarely let anyone in and when she had, she ended up shooting him to set him free. Jean can never have the guts to do that herself. She wouldn’t know how to live with herself even though the action will be justified. It will kill her. Maybe it is what her sister is feeling right now.

“I’m so sorry, Stella”, she expressed.

Stella smiled at her briefly.

“I’m pregnant, Jeanie”, she revealed which almost made Jean choked on her tea.

“What?” she asked.

“I found out when I was hospitalized, the recent one. I had not slept with anyone in the last few months other than Hannibal so I knew it was his. When we were in Florence, I felt ill and I fainted. We thought it was just low blood pressure or my blood sugar. I had not had it checked. I was pregnant then”, Stella explained.

That’s what she fears the most, Jean thought. That’s why she came to her house unannounced. She’s scared and she can see it in her eyes as plain as the day.

“Oh, Stella…” she exclaimed and hugged her sister. “Congratulations!” she greeted.

Stella pulled back from her with surprised eyes.

“Congratulations? You’re not going to scold me or something?” she asked in disbelief.

“Stella, I am not Mother and yes, it is good news. Children are always good news”, Jean answered.

It definitely lifted a huge weight in Stella’s chest because giving it up is extremely far from her mind despite all the logical reasons for her to do so. She cannot bring herself to do that decision. It is the last thing that connects her with the only man she loves. It has part of him and she knows that if he knew about her pregnancy, perhaps, he wouldn’t had proceeded with his plan. Only if she knew beforehand. He would love their child. She’s certain of it. 

“To be completely honest, I have no idea what to do about it. All I know is that I am not going to get rid of it or give it up. I want to keep it but I don’t know how to be a mother”, she confessed.

Jean sighed and smiled at her sister.

“Don’t be silly. Of course, you know how to be a mother. Do you remember after Dad died?” Stella nodded. “Mom was so far away. She buried herself with work, not that we needed the money because we don’t. We were always left alone. You took it upon yourself to take care of me. You divided your time with school and making sure that my uniforms were neat and clean, that I got my lunch packed. You volunteered to help me out with my homework. You always asked me how my day’s been and always listened to my usual rants about boys and school. On top of it all, you love me. It may not be on the same level as motherhood but selflessness is the biggest criterion of being a mother. You have to have selfless enough to put your child’s needs above your own and you, Stella, is the most selfless person I know whether you believe it or not”, Jean said.

Tears threatened to build around Stella’s eyes.

“You really think so? After everything I got myself into recently?” she asked.

“Oh, more so…” she answered and held her sister’s hands, “You could have taken the chance to get your happiness with the man you love and be far from here but you did not. You did not because of you’re big heart. I believe that you will love this child with all your being and he or she will be the most loved child in the world because you’re his or her mother. Hannibal will be so proud”, she added.

That has done it. Stella broke down. It has been building up since Hannibal died. She had cried in her bedroom but it’s just to relieve the pressure in her chest so she can function and get out of her bed but she never let the dam breaks completely. Being in her sister’s arms allowed her to break and feel safe in doing so. With Jean, she never has to fear being judged for her actions. All she will ever feel is love and acceptance and that’s what she needs.

“Hush now, Stella…you’re too beautiful to cry and it’s not going to be good for the baby. What we need to do right now is go to the hospital and do some checkup, see how far long are you and then maybe we can start with some shopping”, Jean suggested.

It made Stella laughed while sobbing.

“I just told I am pregnant and you want to go off and start shopping. You are so you, Jeanie”, she muttered.

“Well, what can I say? Shopping for baby stuff is way funnier than shopping for dresses. Trust me. You’ll enjoy it but we need to know the sex first so we need to do a scan”, Jean explained.

They’re so caught up with each other they did not notice Otis had come home with Jakob and the baby. They found the twins at the balcony laughing. They both had caught the word pregnant coming out of Stella’s mouth.

“You’re pregnant, Aunt Stella?” Otis asked.

The two blonde sisters turned towards them with wide eyes. Jean pursed her lips and waited for Stella to shut down and get her walls back up but the opposite had happened.

“Well, it’s not how I intend to announce it but yes, Otis, I am pregnant”, she confirmed with a smile on her face.

Her revelation to her sister had helped her to accept her situation and be proud of it. There is nothing to be ashamed of. She’s carrying the child of the man she loved. It was conceived out of love and nothing more. 

“Wow, that is great news! I am going to have cousin!” Otis exclaimed and hugged Stella.

“Otis, dear, you have cousins”, Jean reminded him.

“Yeah…but we’re not close since they live far away and want nothing to do with me”, Otis explained.

“Rest assure this cousin will want to do anything with you and your sister”, Stella said and it made the boy smiled. “So, are you ever going to tell me my niece’s name?” she then asked both Jakob and Jean.

In all of the chaos and living double lives, she missed her niece’s name. Jean was too worried for her being back and forth at the hospital to tell her too.

“Stella meet Margaret Estelle Nyman”, Jean introduced.

Stella felt touched that her sister had chosen to give her daughter a middle name derived from her name. She felt honored.

“Margaret…”

“It’s Grams name and Jakob loves the sound of that name”, Jean explained.

“…and Estelle”,

“I can’t exactly name her Stella as well because it will confusing so I chose something close”, Jean added.

“It was a lovely name”, Jakob offered.

Stella smiled.

“It’s perfect, suits her just right”, she expressed and looked at young Margaret. “May I?” she asked and Jakob willingly handed her the baby.

In a few months she will have a baby of her own. It is a scary thought but holding Margaret makes it more it thrilling and exciting. It’s not the same thrill danger used to give her. It’s the thrill of something good. She will be a mother. She will be able to love someone unconditionally and someone she hopes will love her back. Margaret look at her with her innocent eyes and let out a smile which melts Stella’s heart.

“Oh, careful…the way your sister looks at Maggie, she may not give her back to you”, Jakob teased Jean and they all laughed.

“I would not mind sharing. We’re family after all”, Jean said.

Stella turned to them and see all of them smiling at her. She does hope it’s not just all in her head, that she’s not just dreaming because if it is, she wouldn’t want to wake up in a reality that she’s alone because she had killed the man who saw her in her lowest low, who knew her true identity and her agenda but still loved her anyway. No. It’s not a dream. She decides that it’s not. 

“Yes, that’s right”, she replied with a smile on her lips.

She is not alone and she will not be alone. If there’s one thing Hannibal has thought her, it’s that no matter how thrilling one’s life is, it would not be enough if you have no one to share it with. Hannibal had all the thrill in the world but he has the need to share it with someone, whether kept his victims alive so he could dine with them or drag someone else with him. He claimed it as misery loves company but he just did not want to be alone as he had been alone for a very long time. 

Stella tried to live like that for years. She isolated herself, cut herself from making connections with others, relationships. She taught herself not to get attached. She shut people out. She chose to be alone and she lost track how lonely her life was until she met Hannibal. Maybe misery loves company. Maybe they both found each other on the right time for that same lesson. They do not have to be alone. She decides she will not let it go to waste. She learned her lesson. Her child is her second chance in life, to do better, to be better person than she was. It’s time to make connections and make the most out of life.

If Hannibal was around, he would probably probe her about that path she wants to take now. He would want her to weigh her options but at the same time, he would want her to do what she feels would make her happy. He wants her to be happy, to be content, to be safe. It’s what she’s going to do. She will be happy for Hannibal, for their child, and most importantly…for herself.

~~THE END~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got busy again because i just got my driver's license so sorry for the delay. This concludes the story for my ambitious crossover between Hannibal, The Fall, and Sex Education. It has been a blast and i loved reading your comments and appreciation of what i did. Thank you so much...
> 
> EPILOGUE is coming.


	20. EPILOGUE

EIGHT MONTHS LATER

“Where the hell is Jakob?!” Jean yelled and her voice rang throughout her house.

Otis is on the verge of a panic attack while Stella is trying to control her breathing. Jean paced back and forth, contemplating to driver herself only to be reminded that her car is with Jakob who took the liberty to use it to practice how to drive. He couldn’t had chosen a better timing.

“Jeanie…have you ever deliver a baby before?” Stella asked with a smile on her face.

Otis was the one to laugh first. Jean found it funny but her nervousness got in the way so instead it came out as frustrated.

“No, that’s the problem. I am going to strangle him to death if he’s not here in—”

They heard the car parked outside. Otis ran quickly to tell Jakob what’s happening. Jean assisted Stella who can barely walk now.

“You won’t believe it. I managed to do the parallel parking—what’s going on?” Jakob asked cluelessly to Otis.

“Aunt Stella is in labor and we have been waiting for you to come back because we need the car. Mom is very, very, very furious with you”, he answered.

Jakob sighed and ran inside the house and saw Jean and Stella struggling to walk together. Jean shot him a look and he knows he’s in big trouble later.

“Where is Maggie?” Jean asked.

“I dropped her with Ola. Here. You drive”, he answered and tossed Jean the car key.

Jakob carried Stella with his arms to spare her the misery of walking all the way outside to the car. He set her gently at the backseat with Otis while Jean took the driver seat. Once they’re all in the car, Jean drove like a race car driver to the hospital.

Stella was adept with pain tolerance but her tolerance is thinning out. It is not that long to the hospital but it felt like it for her. She’s going to have a baby and she might have it in her sister’s car.

“Just keep on breathing, Aunt Stella. We’re almost there”, Otis said trying to calm her down although the shakiness of his voice gave away that he himself is not calm.

“I am trying but it’s difficult when I feel like I’m going to be split in half”, she responded and took a deep breath. “Is it supposed to hurt this much, Jeanie?” she asked her sister who is very focused on driving.

Jean smiled at the question.

“It’s all going to be worth it. Trust me, sis”, she answered.

Both Otis and Jakob smiled at her answer. Stella is certain that it will be but for now, she feels like dying. She let out a grunt when the pain became too intense and it made Jean stepped on the gas harder.

“Mom, we’re over speeding”, Otis warned her.

“She’s having a baby. What are they going to do? Arrest us? Besides, she’s with The Met”, Jean explained which made Jakob smirked at her recklessness and impulsiveness.

Finally, they reached the hospital where the doctors clamored over Stella. 

“Is the father coming with her inside?” one of the nurses asked and no one knows what to say.

Stella felt a sudden pang of pain but it’s not because of the labor. It is something else.

“There’s no father”, she managed to answer before they took her away.

\----------------------------

Jean felt bad. She saw the way her sister’s eyes saddened when she heard the question. They haven’t thought about the part of her actual delivery. They always jumped to when the baby is there, what the crib will look like, the clothes, the toys. They never thought about who will be there for her when she gives birth.

“I should have been there”, she muttered.

“She will be fine. Your sister is strong, Jean”, Jakob said while holding her hand.

“I know that but she does not have to be alone in this”, Jean argued.

Otis can only agree silently. If he says it out loud, her mother will crash to the delivery room to be there for her sister. He wouldn’t want her mother to break hospital rules and be thrown out of the building.

“She will be fine, Mom. Aunt Stella will be fine”, he said instead.

\----------------------------

Inside the delivery room, Stella endured the pain and listened to the doctor’s voice whose been telling her to calm down and regulate her breathing. It should be all over soon. She made sure not to know the sex so it will be a surprise, as if she does not have enough surprises for one lifetime. Her mind drifted to that time in Florence.

She was trying to make something in the kitchen. Cooking is not her passion and she would rather order something from restaurants but it’s a special day and she wanted to do something nice for Hannibal. He always took care of the kitchen for her. She wanted to return the gesture. Suddenly, her hand slipped while chopping off vegetables and the knife sliced her finger. She yelped at the contact which echoed throughout the apartment.

In a flash, Hannibal was there by her side.

“What is it? What happened?” he asked in concern. The urgency is evident in his voice.

She tried to hide it from him, protect her ego, but he’s tenacious as he had said before. He saw her finger bleeding and connected the dots with the state of the kitchen.

“Come on, I’ll clean it up for you”, he said.

They were both silent while Hannibal was attending to her wound. She was ashamed and couldn’t keep an eye contact with him which he noticed right away. After he put the bandage on, he placed a kiss on her finger and looked up at her. She’s still looking away.

“Bedelia, may I ask what you were doing in the kitchen?” he asked gently.

“I was trying to cook”, she answered.

“I thought you like my cooking”, he said.

That made her looked back.

“It’s not that”, she sighed and composed herself. “I was trying to do something for your birthday. I know it is today and I want to…I don’t know. I want to surprise you, I guess. You always take care of the kitchen and I thought cooking for you will be a nice gesture but as you can see, I failed miserably”, she explained.

He smiled at her, a genuine smile.

“You don’t know how to cook”, he concluded.

“No, I do not”, she confirmed.

He chuckled which irritates her but she concealed it well.

“I appreciate what you were trying to do and yes, it would be a nice surprise cooking for me an all but spending time with me is enough, Bedelia. I wouldn’t trade for any other gifts. We can just talk and have a glass of wine or you can listen while I play the piano. That’s enough for me”, he ran his fingers on her cheek slowly. “Why don’t you leave the cooking to me and let me spoil you? In return, you can be in charge on my wardrobe”, he offered.

Her eyebrow raised at the proposition. Hannibal had always had his own sense of style. He suddenly giving her the power to tell him what to wear and what not to wear. It’s more akin to giving up some sort of control.

“Well, since you know how much I adore fashion, how can I refuse the offer?” she replied and he smiled. “In the meantime, I can think of something else as a gift for your birthday. Would you like to know what it is?” she asked teasingly.

That made his eyebrow raised.

“May I ask what you have in mind?” he asked.

“Why don’t you close the door and find out?” she responded.

Back at the delivery room, tears fell from her eyes. She misses him so badly. She needs him. She wants him to be there with her and hold her hand. She wants him to witness the birth of their child together. She just wants him back.

“I can’t do this! I can’t do this!” she exclaimed.

“Ms. Gibson, just calm down. You have to push”, the doctor said.

“No…I can’t. I don’t think I can do this. Please…I want to get out of here”, she cried.

“Ms. Gibson, listen to me. If you don’t push right now, your baby will die”, the doctor reminded her.

More tears fell from her eyes.

“My sister…Jean. She’s outside. I need my sister. I need her, please”, Stella pleaded as if her life depended on it.

“I’m here, Stella”, heads turn to Jean who is standing at the back. “Sorry to barge in. I couldn’t bear the thought of her alone in here”, she explained.

“Good thinking”, the doctor said and allowed her to go beside Stella. 

The sisters held hands and it’s like Stella got a new source of strength. 

“Come on, Stella. You can do this. I’m here. Otis and Jakob are outside. We’re all here”, Jean encouraged her even more.

Stella braced herself and started pushing. She’s not killing her child too. She’s determined to bring it to life because she has so much love to give. She got so much to teach. For the first time, she can admit completely how much she wants to be a mother and she will be a mother.

Her world came to a stop when she heard the ‘cry’. Jean gasped and Stella’s heart almost stopped beating. She can her child crying. She fought the exhaustion and raised her head a bit to take a glimpse.

“Oh, the baby’s beautiful, Stella”, Jean muttered.

The doctor brought the baby close to her so she can it clearly and hold it.

“Congratulations, Ms. Gibson. It’s a healthy baby girl”, the doctor announced.

A girl. Stella has a daughter. Is it early to tell if she looks like her or Hannibal?

“What are you going to name her?” the doctor asked.

Names…she and Jean had spoken about names. They came up with so many which she cannot seemed to recall right now.

“Florence”, a smile formed upon her lips. “Her name is Florence Jane Gibson”, she answered.

The doctor nodded and took young Florence away so she could get cleaned up before returning to her mother. Stella turned to her sister who still got a big smile on her face.

“Florence?” Jean asked.

“Yes. It is where she was conceived. That city was ‘our’ city. I couldn’t think of anything else”, she answered.

“…and Jane?” Jean followed up.

“I can’t exactly name her Jean as well because that would be so confusing”, she repeated her words at her and it made her sister laugh.

“Thank you. I am very honored”, Jean replied.

“Sorry to interrupt but we have to take Ms. Gibson now to her room”, one of the nurses said.

They squeezed each other’s hands before letting go. While the nurse is rolling her away she smiled at her.

“Congratulations, Miss”, the nurse politely greeted.

“Thank you…I have a baby girl”, she said proudly.

“What’s her name?” the nurse asked.

“Florence Jane Gibson…my daughter’s name is Florence Jane Gibson”, she answered with a smile on her face.

~~THE END~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! It has been a very fun ride and thank you for all the comments and appreciation. I hope you all enjoy this as much as i did. Until the next story!!!


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